I need a change ya’ll. Something is missing. I’m uninspired, unimpressed, and unmotivated. I’m full up and spilling over with pent up emotions that run the gamut of anger, sadness, happiness, and Lord knows what else.
I’m weird. I know. If you want to stop reading then do so.
I’ve upped my daily intake of Vitamin D, lowered the hormones that made me crazy, and yet I’m still….on the edge of a giant precipice. Of what? I have no idea.
I’m unhappy yet happy. I’m restless yet content. I’m understood but largely still misunderstood. People shake their heads in frustration and throw up their hands. Sometimes I feel like I’m following my head more than my heart. I sometimes feel like I’m doing what’s right rather than what I’m passionate about.
Sometimes I find myself unapologetically without efforts at anything except that which keeps my head above water.
And there’s a million explanations as to why I feel this way.
Maybe my gypsy soul is restless and I need a change.
Maybe something else in my life is making me unhappy and I refuse to see it.
Thank God, my marriage is good. So, there is that. It is one constant in my life I can be absolutely sure about.
But people I once loved don’t appear the same to me anymore.
Then again, I’m hard to please. I disappoint and am disappointed easily. Maybe I set the bar too high. They too, have their battles.
I’m trying to figure it out and until then….who knows?