My dearest Dustin,
Where do I begin on this birthday of yours?
It’s been one hell of a year, that’s for sure; and I know I couldn’t have maintained what little sanity I have left without you.
You have held my hand through every bad moment, blow after devastating blow, and exuded a calm and peace I don’t think I’ve seen in any other.
All this while going through the biggest loss of your life. Elaine would be and is so proud of you.
I love that on Mother’s Day weekend, knowing what a difficult holiday that is for me and the fact that I was spending it alone, you kept me distracted and occupied.
“Let’s take the dogs for a walk..”
“My parents are having a Barbeque and you’re coming over at 6.”
“Are you awake? (via phone call) Let’s go to church today.”
And right before church you handed me a Mother’s Day card and during the service, you piped up and made sure I got a candle too because you really do consider me a mother even without live healthy children. I choked back tears in that moment, did you know that?
You always seem to know when I need a distraction, even if we don’t talk about the issue.
“Let’s go kayaking tonight…”
“Wanna run to the store with me?”
Everything. You are a shoulder to cry on but aren’t afraid to get my ass into gear. I love that. You call me when I’m out of town to check on me and tell me you “miss me.”
You’ve fought for me, you’ve been my advocate, you’ve been my voice at times, and most importantly, you’ve been my best friend. You are one of the most selfless people I know. You are consistently putting others’ needs before your own.
You have also overcome so much in your life. Your chaotic childhood mirrors mine in so many ways, I often wonder why you turned out so strong and so together and I turned out a train wreck. Especially when you face the same amount of challenges I continue to face every single day and in reality, your challenges far outnumber mine. We’ll never know the answer but I do this: You are Amazing.
I often say that God brought you into my life but how coincidental is it that your birthday marks a very significant anniversary of my own? Honestly? I don’t think it’s a coincidence at all. I think he brought you to me knowing that I needed something to celebrate rather than mourn on this day. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
I celebrate you as a person, as a friend, as the brother I never had.
I’m so thankful you were born, Dustin Trevor. Let’s get out and enjoy this day!
I love you.
-Christina (and lil Howie too)