The State of Things

I’m getting kind of slack at posting and I apologize.  I’m in that all too familiar mode of  forming witty and funny words in my head and then getting immediate writers block upon getting anywhere near a computer.

Though I think we all know where it’s coming from.

I do want to say thank you to all of you who sent emails and condolences regarding the loss of my Lucky dog.  I miss him terribly.  I completely took for granted the things in my life that I associated with him.  And those things come into sharp focus now that he’s no longer here.  I am getting better though.  I’ve gone entire days without tearing up over him.  Of course, that streak was broken when I woke up this morning from a dream of sitting in a rocking chair with him curled up in my lap and gazing up at me.  I choked up when I told Howard about it but the tears quickly left.  I know he’s in a better place.  My heart will heal in time.

Our sweet Pepper, who became Lucky’s little caretaker in his last months, surprised us by how much he grieved.  You know, lots of people shrug off the idea that animals feel emotions similar to humans.  I admit, I’ve done it myself.  But Pepper confirmed that the week following Lucky’s death.  He seemed lost without a big brother to take care of and look up to.  His eyes would search the room anytime he heard Lucky’s name.  Then he would give us a sad look and lower his head.

Of course, he’s tried to keep our spirits up too…playing with his toys, bringing them to us to throw for him to fetch.  We’ve found that not only is he impossibly adorable and freakishly intelligent but he’s a natural nurturer as well.  He’s been a genuine god send to all of us.

Kas took Lucky’s remains to town to be cremated and he now sits on the coffee table next to Katie.  His collar and tags rest wrapped around the tin urn that is identical to Katie’s but for the weight.  Morbid as it may seem, it comforts me to have him “home” with us.

On a brighter note; the opportunity arose to dog-sit a friend’s teacup chihuahua.  Our friend is an elder who is spending time in town due to medical reasons and is unable to care for the little nugget right now.  Kas offered the opportunity to us and we took it.  “Susie” has been a little ray of sunshine for the past few days.  Pepper was unsure at first, about what to make of this supposed dog who looked suspiciously like a bat with 4 legs but after some initial awkwardness on both their parts, they get along just fine.  In fact, Pepper has reverted back to being a puppy in a lot of ways.  There’s lots of yapping, barking, play-growling, and the rumbling sound of puppy feet galloping through the house.

It’s music to our ears and soothing to our grieving hearts.

And when my linebacker husband picks her up and holds her, it’s a hilarious sight for my sore eyes.  I love that we’re not prejudiced against small dogs.

So, thanks again for being patient and kind.  Especially to my non-animal loving friends who may not understand but can certainly appreciate the love between pets and their owners.

I know everything is going to be okay.

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