Oct 28

I’m also doubled over laughing right now. (I know, I’m so talented aren’t I?)

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

Oct 25

Today’s song is for Howard.  We’ve been through so much but this year has been a particularly hard one.  Yet, he soldiers on.  Working 2, 3, and sometimes 4 jobs just to keep food on the table and our heads above water.  And still manages to stop whatever he’s doing to pull me into his arms, reminding me that I, WE, are worth all of his hard work.  Here’s to you, baby.  I love you.  Thank you for showing up every day.  For hanging in there.  It will all be worth it in the end.  I promise.

“The Story” performed by Brandi Carlile

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Oh because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do and I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you.

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

Ohh yea it’s true… That I was made for you


Oct 21

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from someone who is anti-Obama.  Now, this is completely normal as HI!  It’s Election Year!  And this is one of the most popular elections ever!

Just in case you weren’t aware of that.

I also get anti-McCain email too.  I find it all entertaining and I’ve yet to decide who I want to vote for.  I know.  Shut up.

But let me say right now, that none of you will know who I vote for.  It’s kind of my “thing” to vote on my own and tell no one.

Mainly?  Because I don’t want any of these half-witted, narrow-minded emails showing up in my inbox.  Unfortunately, not sharing my choice of a president; still didn’t keep that from happening.

I have friends who vehemently oppose McCain.  I have friends who vehemently oppose Obama.  I enjoying debating the issues from both sides.  The issues I care about anyway.  The ones I know nothing about?  Well, that’s when I keep my trap shut.


The said “Anti-Obama” email showed up in my inbox.   I read and watched the attached video with an open mind.  Knowing full well that if the message wasn’t approved by John McCain, it was probably contrived by some propaganda website to dissuade us from voting Obama.  I mean, there are hundreds of them against McCain as well.

What offended me was the message this friend sent with the attachment.  It basically said, “If you vote for Obama, I will never forgive you.”

Now, I’m  hard to offend.  Really, I am.  But I couldn’t help but take that personally.

What, so if I vote for Obama, you’re going to hold that against me forever?  You’re going to take it as a personal attack against you?  Just because this silly video portrays Obama in a less than flattering light, that makes me a bad person, unworthy of your forgiveness?

I was appalled.  I’ve been stewing over it, ever since.  Call me a hypocrit but maybe I can’t forgive a person who can’t respect my opinion as much as I respect theirs.

I will say right now:  I am Pro-Choice.  I also live in Alaska and have seen positive results as a resident of this state since Sarah Palin was elected to serve as Governer.  I also believe in the salvation of the flailing middle class America.  I also believe we should finish what we started in Iraq.

Obviously there are things I believe I will benefit from by voting for Obama.  There are things I believe I will benefit from by voting for McCain.

The beauty of it all?  It’s my choice.  Mine.  Just like your choice is yours.

If we’re really friends, you’ll respect my opinion and I’ll do the same for you.  Vote who you want to vote for.  You don’t have to justify anything to me.  And you know what?  I’ll still love you just the same.  No matter what.

I’ll have nothing to forgive you for.  Because in my book?  Voting against who I am voting for isn’t a sin.  It’s a given right as a citizen of this country.  It doesn’t make me or you a bad person.  Truth is:  Either way we vote, there will always be ugly and awful things about our presidential candidates.  It’s called being human.

And humans are always forgiveable.

Oct 19

Happy Birthday, Bradley Ray!  Um, where did the years between 0 and 8 go?  I hope you have a wonderful day, handsome boy.  You’re growing up so fast.

I love every little hair on your gorgeous little head.


Aunt Christina

Oct 18

I picked up this book in Sitka over the summer because it was on the “Staff Recommendations” shelf.  Of course, being a girl, the cover was what initially attracted me but when I flipped it over and read the back, I wasn’t sure it was the type of book I would like.

I was in Session.  I just wanted something easy and light to read.

But for some reason, I bought the book anyway.

I read as much as I could stand during my down time but I admit, it was tough read.  Not that I don’t like deep novels, I mean, I’m the girl who usually goes looking for them but I had enough thinking to do during those four weeks.  I wanted a book that would completely take me away while I was reading it…a book that didn’t dedicate entire chapters to existential and philosophical rants.  I just wanted an easy story.

Needless to say, I gave up early on.   Even though I packed it all the way to NC and back to my village. It sat in my hand carry and then the window sill of my bedroom for a long time, largely untouched.

I came to realize that it wasn’t just that particular book but all books were suddenly intimidating to me.

It was the most foreign feeling regarding books I’d ever had.  After all, up until about last year, I was the girl who read 2 or 3 books a week.  More if I had the time.  Sure, we all got into our slumps-the longest I’d ever gone was a few months-but I’d never gone this long without picking up anything bigger than a magazine.

And you know?   Yesterday, while being home sick and contemplating the current state of my life…I realized what was missing.

My mind needed stimulation other than real life.  Whether it was an uncomplicated book or not, my brain craved a good story.  I retrieved the book, wrapped up in the recliner in my favorite blanket and spent the evening reading.  I was pleasantly surprised once I gave the book a chance.  There were moments of hysterical laughter and near weeping.  I even read exerpts to Howard yesterday and to Dusty over the phone last night.  In summation?  I’m really glad I bought that book last summer.

I finished the novel in bed last night.  I closed the book with a satisfied thump and slung it back over onto the window sill.  I smiled to myself and my brain was sated.  And the current state of my life suddenly didn’t seem so grim.

Oct 12

Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes to me yesterday and continue to do so throughout the weekend.

Can I just say, “HOLY SHIT!  I’M OLD!”   Relatively speaking, of course.

It really has been an ongoing celebration that began on Friday night.  Howard took me out for “steak and beer” night at the bar and at the time, all I wanted to do was have a nice dinner, maybe a couple of drinks and then go home and get to bed early.

You know what’s coming next, don’t you?

I am not complaining though, Howard did point out that it was my last weekend off call for a few weeks and I should probably live it up.  Who can argue with that?

So, Dusty’s parents, his aunt and uncle, and of course Dusty, Howard and the lovely Holly and I, drank, danced, and got silly for the sake of my birthday.  The live band played Happy Birthday for me.  Several shots were sent over to me by various patrons and I proceeded to let my hair down and get loose.  I haven’t done that in a long time.

Damn, it felt good.

At one point, Howard, Dusty, Holly, Judy, and I were dancing in a circle with our arms around each other and we took turns dancing in the middle.  It was uninhibited joy and bliss and I couldn’t have had better dance partners.

Yesterday, my actual birthday, I miraculously woke up sans hangover, which HI GOD, THANK YOU FOR SPARING ME and I attended a birthday party of a very special little girl who was born on my birthday one year ago.  She indulged me with a gummy grin and slobbery baby kisses and I promptly melted all over their hardwood floors.

Immediately after, we attended the community potluck to celebrate a successful hunting season and to ring in winter.  Our village is often called the “Potluck Capital” of Alaska and with good reason.  It was nice to receive “Happy Birthday’s!” and hugs from my fellow residents.  Damn, I love it here.

Howard and I came back to the house to take a breather for a couple of hours before taking our first snowmachine ride of the year, just the two of us.

We hit the back trail and rounded the corner to arrive at Dusty’s sister’s house where I spotted a huge bonfire and Dusty’s entire family.

Howard had been plotting a surprise party for a few days and it totally took me by surprise!  There were tons of food and drinks and we had a blast visiting and enjoying the crisp winter night by a roaring, toasty, fire.

A cake was brought out, “Happy Birthday” was sung, and I blew out all of my candles in one breath.  Hugs and kisses were doled out and I choked back tears of joy throughout the night.

It was humbling and breathtaking and wonderful and everything in between.  It was one of my best birthdays.

Days like yesterday remind us that no matter how many horrible things are thrown at us, it only takes one good thing to blur out the bad.

Thank God for that.  I’m a grateful girl.

Oct 11

This song is in memory of Elaine Murray, Dusty’s beloved grandmother.

I can’t say enough about his family that has become a second one to me.  They are the ones who rush to me whenever I need anything.  Who love and support me when I’m down.  Who appreciate just how far away I am from my own biological family.

And I can’t help but want to thank the lady who shaped this family into the phenomenal gift they are to me, every single day.

This song was played at her private memorial service last week.  And you know?  It says so much.  Thank you, second family!  And thank you, Elaine.

“Life Ain’t Always Beautiful” performed by Gary Allen
Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it’s sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
But i know i’ll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Oct 7

Is it just me or does Tom Brokaw sound like he’s either had a stroke or is completely shit-faced drunk?

(yes I said “shit-faced”…eloquent no?)

just curious

Oct 7

Happy Birthday to my Tessie-Poo.  Hope you have a wonderful day, gorgeous girl!



Oct 4

Yes, that’s right. I’m calling this entry “Saturday Song” because I’m linking to this visually stunning video of my all time favorite band.

I especially love Alanis Morissette’s vocals at the end.

Also, (No that was not a shot at Sarah Palin) while I desperately love Dave Matthews, I love him even more “crazy.” Which is what he is portraying in this video.

And in case you’re all wondering, I am still sad about the passing of LeRoi Moore even though it’s been nearly 4 months since his death. 46 years old is just too young to die and man, I’d hate to be the person trying to fill his shoes.

Anyway.  Enjoy the craziness.

« Previous Entries