Jun 29

Great song!  Enjoy!

“Let Go”-Frou Frou

drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
’cause it’s all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you’re writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you’ve no idea what you’re like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it’s so amazing here
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and then it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can’t you see that all that stuff’s a sideshow

such boundless pleasure
we’ve no time for later now
you can’t await your own arrival
you’ve 20 seconds to comply

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it’s so amazing here
it’s alright
’cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

Jun 28

Week 2 down and 2 more to go.

Yesterday we had our “mid-terms” with a dreaded OSCE….and of course, I was freaking the hell out.

Long story short:  100% on the OSCE, 99% on the Open Book and a goddamn 92% on the Closed Book exam.  It was totally my fault. I mis-read the question and answered accordingly…which of course, was the wrong answer.  There were only 20 questions on the test which roughly counted off like 2.5 points each.

Yes, I know, 92 is a good grade.

But I am an “A” student.  That’s the grade I wanted.  Grrrr.

I’m also starting to get really homesick and I don’t mean Alaska homesick…I mean NC..homesick.  I know it’s probably because of things going on in my life right now and the fact that Howard is there right now without me.

I need only to think of the sweet smell of honeysuckle or the effervescent glow of fireflies and my heart starts to ache.  I talk to Howard on the phone and I hear people in the background talking with their “Western Carolina dialects” and I want to jump on the next plane and run to the familiar.

But soon enough…in just over two weeks…I’ll be able to sink my feet into the forest floor of fallen maple and oak trees and pine needles.  I’ll be intoxicated with the smell of Magnolia….

I’ll be able to walk into a restaurant and say “hey ya’ll” without getting an amused look of condescension.

In fact, my accent with be more prominent as I tend to pick up dialects wherever I go which is annoying as all hell to me.

Except this time,  it won’t be annoying at all.  It’ll feel just like home.

Jun 25

On our first day here in Sitka, the administrative assistant for the training center took me and my fellow classmates out to lunch and on a short tour (for all of the people who were here for the first time).

Along the way, we passed a family on the roadside helping a young girl up from taking a tumble on her bike.  She was walking with a severe limp and crying.  Listening to our conscience, Merle, (the administrative assistant) pulled over and asked if they needed any help.

The man who appeared to be the girl’s father said: “Nah, she’s just walking it off…”

We sat there speechless before Merle hesitantly offered a weak…”ooookay..” and we drove on.  About a mile down the road, our conscience spoke up again and we decided to turn around and offer help again…after all…something was clearly wrong with the little girl’s leg.  So, we did just that…Merle even told the man that she had a van full of medical students who were willing to help.  But again..

“Oh, she’s just walking it off.”

I then piped up and asked if she was handicapped because clearly, this girl had more than just a superficial injury.  I may have been wrong and maybe the girl was a drama queen but I’m telling you…if she was faking that limp, she’d have to be damn good at it.  The father assured me that she wasn’t handicapped.
So, we gave up, wished him luck, and drove away.

We were shocked but then we turned it into a joke.

“Gotta flail chest?….just walk it off”

“Asthma attack?…just walk it off”

“Possible mycardial infarction (aka heart attack)?….just walk it off”

“What?  You wrecked on your snowmachine and were thrown 25 feet and have a severe head injury?….oh just walk it off”

And that also goes for us when anyone says they have any kind of affliction…

“Man, I think I’m getting a headache”

“Really?  Just walk it off”

“Oh shit, my stomach is hurting”

“Really? Just walk it off”

And while it makes us laugh so hard, some of us (I’m not mentioning names) shoot water out our nose and nearly choke…we still think back to that poor little girl and her clueless father.

I just hope she really did walk it off.

Jun 23

I’m really sad about this…

Dead at 71.  Which to me?  Is still too young to die.  Goodbye George.

Jun 23

Saturday, on our hike, I finally went off on the jerk. I screamed and yelled and told him exactly what I thought of him.

It was one of those moments you look back on and cringe but you know? We all reach our boiling points.

However; the rest of the hike was nice. The jerk really made an effort to..well…not be a jerk and I made an effort to at least tolerate him.

Last night, he and Billy went fishing and they each brought home a trout and told me it was their anniversary gift to me. Billy has become a good influence who keeps him in line. In some ways, he’s like a puppy..you know…cute when they’re being sweet but pissing you off when they shit on your carpet?

That’s kind of how we feel about him this point.

But Billy’s really guiding him in the right direction.
Since neither of them cook very well, I offered to bake the trout tonight after class as long as they cleaned them. The jerk ate two plates full and told me it was the best meal he’d ever eaten.

I’m sure he was exaggerating but it was nice to hear.

It’s nice to have at least one roommate who has previously shared living space with me. We’re starting to feel like family. Billy and I always yell “Honey! I’m home!” when one of us walks in the door and the jerk likes to sleep on our side of the duplex. He says he feels safe with us. Our other roommate who is just a few months older than the jerk, (only Billy has given me permission to use his name) says she feels safe staying on our side of the duplex as well.

We’re all sharing household duties, cleaning up our messes, taking out the garbage, and helping each other get through the course.

I think after a week of being here, we’re comfortable sharing a home for the next month.


Jun 22

Yesterday, it was really weird celebrating my anniversary without my husband. Howard and I celebrated on each other’s behalf. Howard, by celebrating with his family at his aunt’s lake house and hanging with his cousins and brothers singing and playing guitar until the wee hours of the morning.

I, took my roommates on a 5 mile hike in the Tongass National Forest and it was beautiful. We saw lots of bear poop but no bears, thank God! We passed a local who said there was a lake along the trail and a paddle boat for public use. We wasted no time in sprinting to the lake and finding said boat and the four of us climbed in and fished for Cutthroat Trout.

The weather was just right; not too windy but not scorchingly hot either. I got just enough sun to reveal the freckles on my face and to give me a healthy glow. Afterwards we stopped at a cafe and had a nice lunch, then we all came home and took naps.

I had my ER rotation last night so the hike and the lunch was my official anniversary outing.

It really was a great day. The only flaw was Howard’s absence.
Okay that and if I’d been able to drink….

But all in all? I think we each gave our 15 years the credit they were due.

Jun 21

Happy Anniversary Howard.  We’ve been to hell and back and we’re still here.  I hate the circumstances are such that we can’t be together on this special day but I’ll see you in three weeks and we’ll celebrate it then.

I love you….

P.S.  Sorry for the cheesy song but it really is “us”.

You’re Still The One-Shania Twain