Apr 17

This morning, I woke up to snow. SNOW! In Sitka AFTER April 15th! I mean, ya’ll know I love me some snow. God knows, I live in a place that has snow about seven months out of the year, so I’d better, right?

But after 4 days of constant rain…I really wanted to see some sunshine.

It snowed until after noon. Then, within a few minutes of the last snowflake falling, the sun came out, the skies finally cleared and it felt like Spring again.

The sun has been shining ever since.

I nearly skipped to my clinical today which was “Approach to Child”. In other words, I got to weigh and measure kiddos and babies and I got to spend time with them and interact with them. The purpose of the class was to get used to being around children because pediatrics is part of my scope of practice. Duh. I know.

One would think an afternoon of chubby arms, bright eyes, and imaginative stories from 5 year olds, not to mention the sunny afternoon, would have put me in a great mood.

As Michelle and I walked back to the training center, she, being a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner; asked me: “So when do you think you and your husband will be trying to have more children?”

I have no idea what came over me, but as I started to explain my situation, tears sprang to my eyes and I felt a great sadness come over me. I had to suck back the lump in my throat as I struggled to keep my composure. Michelle waited for my answer….with an empathetic look.

She rubbed my back and told me she understood if I didn’t want to talk about it.

“It’s okay…” I shakily replied…”we really want to try but you know, it’s hard not to be gun shy.”

“Oh I understand completely.” she said and I know she really did.

But as I walked back to housing…I burst into real tears. I rushed upstairs and had a good cry.

I looked out my window and wondered how I could feel so sad on the first beautiful day in a week. Especially when I’d been whining about the weather as of late.

Why didn’t I burst into tears when I was talking to Bitsy about the same problem two days ago?

I think it was because Michelle said “more children”….

I think that’s what really got me.

Apr 15

1. Paying additional taxes on money I pay taxes on ALLLLLLL year long claiming the largest deduction!!!

2. Rain that is constant…and I do mean constant…for more than 3 straight days.

Okay maybe just two things….the rest of the stuff? Is trivial. Not enough for me to lose sleep over.

We did blood draws yesterday and though the instructor says my technique was “excellent” I was unable to get any blood from my patient. The patient then informed me that her veins are very difficult to draw from and she often has to return to the clinic several times before a blood draw.

Being catty, I thought to myself…”Would have been nice if I’d known that earlier…like when I asked you specifically about that.”

Luckily, no points were deducted for failure to get blood due to the fact that sometime you just can’t get any blood.

Whew!

Tomorrow is IV and injection labs all day.

I’m still in a crabby mood.

Though I’m sick of the rain, I’m still in love with Sitka.

I still love my roommates.

And if you haven’t noticed, I still continue to be uninspired, thus writing the most boring of posts ever!

Apr 13

There’s been a cloud hovering over Sitka since Friday morning and the rain has been constant as well. It did stop long enough for us to take our cruise yesterday morning and we even got a glimpse of sunshine.

The cruise was fun, we saw sea lions and sea otters, and all the outlying islands of Sitka. Of course, when the sea lions starting popping their heads out of the water and putting on a show for us, my camera promptly died and refused to work again.

That’s when I realized I hadn’t charged the battery the night before.

Typical.

We were disappointed that we didn’t see any whales but getting out of the house and getting to see other parts of the islands was worth the 30 bucks.

The roommates and I are still getting along fine but we’re all homesick. We’re past the halfway point now and in less than two weeks, we’ll be back with our loved ones. I’m ready to sleep in my own bed, on my nice sheets, with my Lucky dog tucked up beside me and spooning up next to Howard, Pepper and Katie cat.

There is definitely something to that whole “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” theory. Or as Howard says…”makes the pee pee grow longer.”

He will faint when he reads that so could someone please go check on him for me?

I think I just fainted while typing it.

Geez.

Seriously though, I feel really bad for my roommates because they all left spouses and small children back home. I hear them making their phone calls to tuck them in at night, telling them they love them, promising to call them the next day and it makes my heart hurt for them.

It also makes me want to throw out the birth control pills when I get home and start trying again.

Almost.

Speaking of that, it was confirmed that I do have a small gall stone. I’m also having a few other problems that recently revealed themselves and after consulting with the doctor, she is convinced that my body is having a bad reaction to the birth control pills. In fact, she and another doctor here both concur that the gall stone was likely a result of that as well. She’s so concerned that she wants me to stop taking them immediately because of a possible stroke.

“If you’re reacting this way with all the other symptoms….I don’t want to take a chance on you having a stroke tomorrow.”

I was shocked.

But maybe it’s a sign. A sign with little pink and blue booties wrapped around chubby little feet.

We’ll see.

Apr 12

This one is a few years old but has always stayed near and dear to my heart.  I think this could apply to all of us at one time or another in our lives.  Enjoy!

“I’m Movin’ On” Performed by Rascal Flatts

I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I’m at peace with myself
I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I’m movin’ on

I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they’re always the same
They mean me no harm but it’s time that I face it
They’ll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong
I’m movin’ on

I’m movin’ on
At last I can see
life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know
there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone
There comes a time
in everyone’s life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I
have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I’ve loved like I should but lived like I shouldn’t
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I’m movin’ on

I’m movin’ on
I’m movin’ on 

Apr 11

I had three of my first big exams this morning.  One open book, one closed book, and one scenario (also known as OSCE’s).

I cannot tell you how bad my test anxiety is.  I get all worked up, stressed out, and then I make someone study with me and then freak out about it all about 10 seconds before the actual test.

Of course, I’m convinced that if I didn’t do that, I’d fail!  I JUST KNOW that if I was ever blase’ about a test, I’d fail!!!!  Then I would promptly throw myself off the Sitka bridge.

Except no.  Because then I wouldn’t be around to throw myself little pity parties.

Like the one I’m throwing now!

Anywho.

I made an “A” on all three exams and I’m relieved it’s done!

Tomorrow we’re rewarding ourselves with a wildlife cruise around the island.  I’m ready for a break!

Apr 9

Dear Mom,

For your birthday post this year, I probably won’t get into too much.  I’m eyeballs deep into homework and studying and I know you want me to succeed so how’s that for a nice cup of guilt?

So, let me just say that when I was a teenager, I thought you were the most uptight mother around.  You had the nerve to give me a curfew, make me take chaperones on dates until I turned 16, and made me go to church every Sunday.

You had the nerve to forbid my wearing makeup until I turned 12.  Never allowed me to swear in front of you and NEVER allowed me to talk back to you.

You had your “cool moments” too though.  Like when you went to the city hall and fought for the high school kids’ right to cruise downtown Lenoir, so long as we didn’t leave a mess and there were no drugs or alcohol.  And when you allowed me to go to my junior and senior prom and stay out all night with my friends.

My teenagers years were tumultuous ones…full of confusion, hormones, and drama.  LOTS of drama.

You may have fallen short in some areas of motherhood but overall you raised me to be a respectful and decent human being.  I see so many kids going down the wrong path these days because a lot of parents are just plain over-indulgent.  They are so pre-occupied with being “cool and hip” parents all the time that they lose sight of what is really important in raising human beings.

In all the chaos that was my childhood, you gave me that one constant.  There was a time when the word “strict” carried a stigma that stayed with me long into adulthood.  Now, I’m proud to say that I was raised in a strict home, that I was given a bedtime, a curfew, chaperones.  Because I had a mother who cared enough and who knew just how far to tow the line between being hip and being responsible at the same time.

You did a pretty good job, Mom.

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Your kid.

Apr 7

Today, we began our clinic rounds at the hospital and I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous.  I’m certain it wasn’t because of the patients but because I was with the Director of the program and he was EVALUATING ME!!!!

I nearly passed out right there.

It was for no special reason, just the luck of the draw…I’m sure I did okay.(This is how all clinicals are done)  The patients seem to really like my accent and I really tried to ignore Mr. Director and just focused on their care.

He will give me feedback my last week of the program.

Dammit!

I guess that means I’m not kicked out right?

Heh.  Better not type that too much.

My weekend went okay.  I ended up in the hospital EARLY Saturday morning myself due to B-A-D stomach pain.  Pain so bad that I couldn’t stand up straight.

Turns out, I’m probably lactose intolerant and could possibly have gall stones.

Nice.

Of course when I told Dusty, he was all:

“Honey, go under the knife cause we can’t go without our ice cream!”

Of course, if I’m truly lactose intolerant the point of whether or not I can have ice cream will be a moot one.

*sigh*

Saturday night, I had to do observations in the ER and MAN did I get to see some stuff!  I really expected it to be kind of quiet but I ended up working an hour past when I was supposed to be done…because…I am clearly an overachiever..and possibly a pushover.

I mean, who am I to turn down assisting with a catheterization, right?

Plus, the x-ray tech was cute and was TOTALLY flirting with me! (don’t worry Howard, it was in a very harmless way)

The work here is really kicking up a notch and what little time I do have (besides supplying you guys with near daily posts..because DAMMIT I AM THAT LOYAL OF WRITER!), I spend it with my head in the books.

It’s stressful but in a good way.  I love a challenge!

Except now when I have a really bad day, I can’t curl up with a nice pint of Ben and Jerry’s (Howard is now going to comment that OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DO THAT…because clearly he doesn’t get my sarcasm and also because he LOVES to beat  me over the head with his opinions…love you honey!).

And I get the feeling that Soy Sherbert just won’t measure up to Butter Pecan.

Apr 6

Humorous Pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Happy Birthday to my sweet little “honorary” nephew, Colton David!  Enjoy lots of cake and ice cream today precious boy.  I love you and I’m sorry I can’t be there to celebrate with you!

Apr 3

Also, I haz homework! Enjoy!
humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Apr 2

Boy, I’ll tell ya.  You guys know me better than I realized.  You all basically called me out on my April Fools joke.

And I thought it was pretty damn good!

And I also realize why I never really pull any April Fools pranks.

For those of you who did fall for it, APRIL FOOLS!  I’m still in Sitka, I’m still in the CHA program, and I’m still really liking it.

Granted, I am fumbly at times, and it does seem a bit overwhelming….but it feels good to be using my brain power.

And incidently, my advisor, is named “Bitsy” and she’s just as cute as one would expect with a name like that.  She’s VERY supportive and does give good pep talks.  I’m very happy to have her as a mentor.

The roommate situation seems to be getting more comfortable in a good way.  We share the house responsibilities with ease, if there are dishes in the sink, someone does them.  If the trash needs taken out, someone takes it.  Tonight, I went walking with one of them and we saw Sea Lions playing in the bay!

Of course, I left my camera back at the apartment. Grrrrr.

I seem to be falling in love with Sitka more and more everyday.  The work will get harder, yes.  There will be days when I do feel like throwing my stethoscope at someone…but a quitter?  I am not.

….and yes Howard, there is always Wasilla.  Thank God!

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