That’s My Husband

Howard wrote a little piece on his private blog (meaning only very privileged people get to actually read it)….and was no doubt, inspired by my constant nagging regarding his lack of editing his writing.

Now we all know that I’m not the best at grammar and punctuation but let me throw just a few small stones here.

I do always go back and check my work given I have the time to do so.  In fact, I’ll scroll through my blog on a daily basis and edit old posts if I can.

Howard really is a wonderful writer.  But his lack of editing drives me nuts.  He just writes out his thoughts and hits publish.  I love that he’s comfortable doing that.  I don’t, however, enjoy actually reading his pieces because of it.  In fact, I’m distracted because I begin editing in my mind, immediately. (remember fellow high school friends how I wanted to be an editor at Simon and Schuster or Doubleday and live in Manhattan?
Ohmigod! *rolls eyes*)

Again though, he couldn’t care less because his writing his more for him than anyone else.  We often have debates about this.  My editing drives him nuts, his lack of editing drives me nuts.  Gah.  Luckily, we meet somewhere in the middle.  Most of the time.  Okay about half the time.  Oh alright almost never.  This will always be a bone of contention between the two of us.

I guess it could be worse.

Anywho.  I thought I’d share his piece with you because it’s really funny and I know that Ben and Kristen will get a big kick out of it because he also talks about learning to kill people.  (Tell ‘em Chrissy!)

Enjoy!

Title:  Mispeling

I want anyone reading this blog to know one thing…I spele tings wron alot of the tim.  Some of the problem is the fact that I hunt and peck at the keyboard at a pretty fast pace.  Another problem is that I do not check over my work …I just spost it.  Hell, I ain’t here to win no awards!

The biggest problem is that I am not an English major.  My degree was in History.  Now I know that I had to have some mastery of the English language in order to make my way to a degree: however, without self editing and the editing of Chrissy, I would have had a hard time accomplishing the degree thing.

Believe it or not when I actually think of what I write, I do rather well.  Hell, in the Army I scored the highest one can score on the Nelson/Denny(?) Test.  I scored at the first year graduate level. 

That brings me to a funny story.  In 1988 I went through the Infantry Officer’s Basic Course.  In between learning the newest and bestest ways to kill people, we were also schooled in effective resding  and writing.  During this part of our military education, we were given daily drills and homework assignments.  The final test of our mastery of English was a research paper.

Now, I have allredy told you that I can reed and writ pretty gud write?  I never recieved a grade below a 90 during the course.

I had a topic in mind for the paper, but I am the worlds worst procrastinator.  I put off the writing until the last minute.  I forgot, until the day it was due, to write the paper.  I had not even writen the draft.  I did all of the other prep work…outlines, research, etc…I just never wrote the damn thing.

I did not even try to turn it in late.  It was not worth many points in the scheme of things, so I blew it off. 

Let me clarify.  We had a total of 1,000 points that we could score during the school.  We only needed 750 points to pass.  There were some things that we had to pass regardless ( land navigation, physical training test, rifle marksmanship, etc) in order to graduate.  The reading and writing part was simply another class.  They figured we were all college graduates anyway, so most of the teachings were refreshers. 

That part of being a college graduate was not true in all cases.  I dropped out of college 2 years after I was commissioned.  I was the only officer I ever knew (does not mean there were not others) that was not a college graduate.

A few weeks later the Colonel (full bird for you military types) came in to hand back our papers.  Of course, he had nothing for me and made a point of mentioning it to me.  I gave with the best response I could think of…Hell sir, I turned one in.  He told me that is was probably misplaced and asked me to come to his office latter that day. 

I knew he would not find a paper, but I went anyway.  I reported as ordered, and the Colonel came in to inform me that he could not find my paper.  He said he looked everywhere, but could not find it.  He said that he did have a grade for me, though.  He said that he read it and it was pretty good,b ut not up to my previous work (no shit!  I never wrote it), so he gave me an 85% on my efforts.  I guess he felt bad for losing my paper.

His statement put me in a quandry.  Should I ask wy an 85% when all other grades were above 90%?  Or should I say nothing?  I kept my pie hole closed,  of course. 

That was the best grade I ever recieved for work I never did!

 

One Response

  1. Howard Says:

    True story!! The US Army also used to tell us that unloaded guns killed people. Meaning accidents happen and not be too sure the rifle is empty when pointing it at someone. Us wise ass Lieutenants would respond, “…well, hell, we should go into battle with unloaded weapons!”
    funny

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