Better Than Prozac

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Dusty taught me how to kayak.

Howard and Thai took our boat and went fishing and Dusty and I planned to kayak to where they were and just hang out and enjoy the company.

I was amazed at how easy it was and how much I loved it. Dusty and I took a leisurely float to the mouth of the two rivers that converge here and started our paddling once we hit the river with the opposite current. I kept waiting to flip over and make an ass out of myself but that never happened. Even while he and I play-jousted and splashed each other.

I just knew I’d never make it up that damn river but it was surprisingly easy. Finally, we met up with the other guys and after we each shared a good swig of red wine, courtesy of Thai, (swooning and swearing to never wash my mouth out after drinking from that bottle) he and Howard decided to test me and see if I could handle some serious wake.

Thai took the wheel and did circles whipping up one hell of a crest as Dusty instructed me just how to navigate them.

I passed with flying colors. Impressed the hell out of those boys. Who says I can’t hang?

They then took off on upriver and left Dusty and I to start our gradual float back down to the mouth.

Dusty and I, once again, jousted, bumped our boats, and splashed each other, secretly wanting the other to topple over so we could point and laugh before coming to the rescue. It never happened.

Mainly, because Dusty and I are stubborn bitches.

Dusty said something while we were floating that really resonated with me:

“Out here, it feels like we’re a millions miles away, when it’s just around the bend, it’s really hard to be angry in all this beauty.”

Or something similar to that.

By the time we got to back to the mainland I was hooked.

Then the weather went to shit and it was weeks before I got to do it again.

Just last night, Howard and I took the kayaks and floated down the mouth and were originally going to just let the current take us where our truck waited but he got the big idea to check out a slew that ran along side the mouth.

I was clear on the other side of the river but I needed the workout and I started to paddle. I got about halfway across and almost gave up until Howard urged me on and called me a “wuss”. My arms burned, I nearly hyperventilated as I paddled against two opposite currents swirling together. I thought I’d never make it.

But I did. Howard hi-fived me and we leisurely paddled around the slew and eventually got back into the current that floated us down and back to land.

As we drove home, I felt an amazing high. My endorphines were going crazy. I was happy. Happier than I’ve felt in a long time.

I called to let Dusty know we made it home alive and he could immediately tell that I was feeling better just by the sound of my voice.

I’d been in a funk for a few days. While I’m a big advocate of chemical help (legal that is) when needed, truth be told, it just hadn’t been working for me for a while.

Last night, as I floated down that gorgeous river nestled between mountains covered in rolling, green hills, the blue sky reflected on the water and nothing in my ears but the sounds of an eagle in a tree, or a beaver splashing its tail, or Howard and I talking about everything and nothing, I felt so much peace.

I felt purged. Clean. Renewed. I breathed in all that fresh air and exhaled all that negative energy out of my body. I felt proud that I’d pushed my limits and made it across that damn mouth. My arms were pleasantly sore, my abs ached. But my mind was clear. I felt nothing but gratitude.

And I knew that no matter what happens in my life or how weird my mind gets at times that I need only to get out and take in the enormous beauty of the world. Let it get under my skin and into my soul and everything will always be okay.

3 Responses

  1. Amy Says:

    You are brave…they gave kayak classes at the college I attending and I knew someone who took them…and she freaked me out when she told me about them flipping you upside down in one (in a swimming pool) until you could right yourself…so I decided that was NOT the class for me.

  2. Amy Says:

    Of course…then again…i think I am just a big bock bock (chicken). Hee.

  3. Chris Says:

    Oh, you’re fine! That’s what scared me the most but Dusty just told me how to PREVENT flipping which is obviously working.

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