Running With Scissors

Tonight, we finally got around to watching “Running With Scissors.”

I first read this book back in 2003 while Howard was recuperating from having all four Wisdom Teeth pulled and I was playing bed nurse to him in the company condo in Anchorage.

I remember absolutely devouring this book.  I would hold it and read it with one hand and spoon ice cream into Howard’s mouth with the other hand.  I’d lay beside him while he slept through the pain medication and just read.  I read it in about eight hours before finishing it and tucking it into my suitcase.

I was amazed at how remarkable Augusten Borroughs was.  Now, here I thought I was about the most dysfunctional person on the planet….mainly because I’d never met anyone who had a family quite as fucked up as mine (until of course I met Dusty)….while all along, this guy made my family look like the damn Walton’s. I felt an immediate kinship with him.

And felt sorry for him all at the same time.  At least my mother had never given me up at the age of 13 to her whacked out psychiatrist and his eccentric (which is just crazy people with money, right?) family.

But he’d come through a lot, had very little education, and managed to write a best selling memoir.

Heck honey, I had NO room to complain.

Then a couple of years ago, I found out they were making a movie.  I was skeptical as most movies are never quite as wonderful as the book is.  Truth be told, I’ve YET to see a movie that has.  I mean, who has?

And for the most part I was right about this movie.

But!  I like getting that feeling all over again.  That feeling of relating to someone who comes from crazy even worse than you do.  I loved sitting there while watching the scene where he realizes the enormity of what his mother has denied him and he tells his “adopted” mother:

“I want you to make me Hamburger Helper”

And she smiles like she’s been waiting for the opportunity and she makes it for him….

And saying to myself “God damn right man, that’s all I ever wanted too!”

Life really is just one big metaphor after another isn’t it?

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