May 1

Yesterday when I picked Pauline up at the daytime sitter’s house, the sitter mentioned that Pauline “just didn’t seem herself”.

I stifled my thoughts, thanked her, collected my the baby, and came home immediately to tell Howard what she said.

He didn’t see anything wrong with it.

I, on the other hand, grew defensive and said:  “What is she trying to say?  That I’m not taking care of her?!”

“No honey, I think she was just telling you what she observed” he calmly replied.

“No, I think she was accusing me of something.” I barked back.

Howard sighed but refrained from rolling his eyes for fear of my stabbing his eyeballs out.  He knows this is the “crazy” in me coming out.

Later that night, I told Dusty, to see what he thought.

He totally agreed with Howard.

“God Chris, she was just telling you that Pauline wasn’t herself!”

“No, she’s saying I’m completely incompetant when it comes to taking care of a baby.”

He and Howard both looked at each other and sighed.

“She’s already neurotic and it isn’t even her kid.” Howard informed him as if I wasn’t there.

In hindsight, I completely over-reacted and she didn’t say anything critical today but Howard says it’s a sign that I’m growing into this whole “Motherhood” thing.

I reminded him that I just needed a refill on my medication but thanked him for not jumping to that conclusion first.

He rolled his eyes that time and dared me to do anything about it.

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