Power of Attorney (and friendship)

Last night when I stopped by the house before going to my class, Howard mentioned that he couldn’t find the camera.  I called Dusty to see if I left it there.  He said he would look for it and call me.  I, of course, obsessed just a tiny bit about it and then we ended our phone call and I left for class.

When I returned home, I called him to see if he’d found it.  So far, nothing. Which really worries me because we LOVE that camera.  He promised to look for it again today.

Then of course, we started in our weeks and the gossip and the drama going on in our lives.

We spent a lot of time talking about Val.  I like being able to talk to Dusty because he and I can talk a subject to death but it’s very therapeutic for us.  Neither one of us ends the topic until it’s talked out.  We talked about how much we miss her.  What a presence she was to this community and how her children must be coping with her loss.

That brought us to the subject of wills and our final wishes when we die.  In light of all the death in the past year, Howard and I decided that while we’re in NC, we’re going to see my memaw’s attorney and make out wills.  It also makes sense because we travel a lot and obviously are at a higher risk doing so.

It’s something we don’t like to think about but it’s a necessary evil.  I want to make sure that if, God forbid, something happens to me, my family won’t make Howard’s life hell, especially if we have children.  I want to know that he’s taken care of and burdened with as little as possible.  I mean, death is hard enough without all the bullshit.  I’ve seen how mean and evil, death can make people.  I’ve seen how grief brings out the greed and the petty and it scares the living hell out of me.  Howard feels the same about me for the same reasons.

Dusty told me of his final wishes and then asked me if I’d accept power of attorney and be the executor of his estate, should he die.  Though losing one of my best friends is disturbing, I accepted without hesitation.  I don’t want him to have that burden either.  I then asked him if he would do it for me and Howard as well and he accepted.  I’m glad that if I die before Howard, Dusty will make sure that my husband is taken care of and all the monetary allotments and possession will be distributed the way I wish.

Upon the writing of my will, Dusty will receive an Express mailed copy and I can rest easier.

198 minutes later (Dusty has a timer on his phone), we were all talked out and satisfied and immensely thankful for meeting each other and finding such deep, unconditional, immediate friendship in each other.  He really is the brother I always wanted.  I’m the annoying older sister he’s never wanted.  But he loves me anyway and I love him.  Having an unbiased “family” member is a good thing.

One Response

  1. Tom Says:

    You might be interested in knowing we got the Willmaker software from nolo.com. Did our own, and all we have to do now is get it properly witnessed, etc.

    Something you might want to consider. Costs less than an attorney.

    Grace and Peace.

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