American Awful

I admit that I don’t watch American Idol.  I’m probably the only one in the free world who doesn’t really get into that show.  (Not enough drama and dysfunction apparantly, right?)

BUT! I do watch the audition episodes in the beginning.

Because seriously, my tummy muscles need the exercise.

Oh dear Lord, ya’ll.  I don’t even know what to say sometimes.  Sometimes?  I cover my eyes and can’t even look, much less listen.

First of all:  I know that some of these kids know they’re bad and audition just to get some face time on TV or to give their friends and family a good laugh.  And I love that.  I love that they can make a complete ass out of themselves on national television and walk away proud.  Dude.  People like that are my heroes.  Seriously.

But on the other hand…

Who is lying to these other people by telling them they are so good as to have the chops to get past the first audition, nevermind that some of them think they can actually win?

Now don’t get me wrong:  I know that if I ever have a kid, I’d like to think I will nurture their talents.  Therein the point lies.  Nurture their talents.  NOT the lack thereof.  If he or she can’t sing?  I’m going to find a way to tell them if they ever ask my opinion.  I will be tactful about it.  I won’t insult them and I won’t make them feel bad about themselves.  And no doubt, he or she will have other talents on which I can absolutely rave.

Just because my daughter or son can sing really well in the local choir doesn’t mean they’re good enough to go on and be a star.

I know this.  I’m one of those people.  Ask me to sing in my shower?  And I’m told I sound really good.  Ask me to sing in the choir at church or in the drama club at my high school?  I’m also told that I’m really good.  But my mother NEVER pushed me to go any further than that because she knew my limits.  Hell, I know my limits.  Get me drunk?  Well, Howard’s cousin Jason has the videotape to prove it.  Not pretty ya’ll.  Not at all.

Let me say right now:  Singing in the the shower, in the choir, on the karaoke machine, drunken sing-along’s does not a truly talented singer make.  Mom?  Dad?  Sorry to break it to you but before you go pumping such high aspirations into your kids’ heads, be honest with yourself.  Have an unbiased third party give an opinion.  Chances are, you’ll save your kid some humiliation.

Though you won’t save me some pretty hard laughs.  I’m selfish that way.  Without those horrible audition episodes, I wouldn’t give that show a second thought.  Though yes, I do thank them for Kelly Clarkson, Kimberly Locke, and the adorable Taylor Hicks.

No, I have other, more intellectually stimulating shows to watch.  Like “Flavor of Love” and” I Love New York.”  I mean, shitting in the floor is just more real.  Ya’ know?

(Mr. Hateful email sender, please PLEASE see the sarcasm in that last sentence.  Then again, I kind of like your hatemail, it makes me feel important)

3 Responses

  1. Jen Says:

    The best part of Monday’s night show was the fact the left door was locked and everyone tried to exit out that door in tears or anger. Totally emotional… and totally hilarious.

  2. Amy Says:

    I always forget how painful it is to watch the audition shows…some of them are so bad they make me throw up a little in my mouth LOL.

    Seriously though my friend Misty and I were talking about this and she put it best. Clearly these people have no best friends…because a best friend would tell you that you suck and shouldn’t embarrass yourself on national television for no monetary compensation…I mean seriously dude.

  3. ETS Says:

    You have a hater? Holy cow, Chrissy!

    Muffin actually winced last night at some of the auditions. It was painful to both listen and watch!

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