Insane Ramblings

I know this sounds like an excuse but I’ve been waaaay too busy to sit down and write anything of real substance. Not even a vignette. But aren’t you proud of me? I didn’t use one for this here post.

Nope. Instead I’m going to bore you with other things. Like how this one guy that lives here? Is officially the biggest crybaby to ever walk the earth. Oh my dog. I pretty much wanted to stab him in the eye today. He’s one of those people that moved the bush and now complains about living in the bush.

Look. If you move here? You’re going to pay a lot more for things. Mainly? Because everything that comes out here is FLOWN in because WE ARE NOT CONNECTED TO A ROAD SYSTEM. “AVGAS” (aviation fuel) is expensive. We run a business that relies on AVGAS. That means that the businesses pay more for their goods. Now if you do the math, you’ll then know that that cost gets passed on to you. The consumer. Fuel? Is 5.32 per gallon. A gallon of milk? 7.49. Why? BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE A TRUCK THAT HAULS IT IN EVERY NIGHT. Just think about it like this: YOU pay anywhere between 300-500 for a plane ticket. That’s just a coach fare. Now translate that into hauling thousands of pounds of goods on that very plane so that you can have fresh produce, fresh milk, ice cream, cigarettes, beer, bread, etc. Throw in the “priority shipping” we pay to get that produce out here in a timely manner, not to mention the expenses like electricity and heat,  and you’re looking at 2.99 per pound for bananas. I’m digressing here but my point is: You knew this before you moved here, because I’m assuming that anyone that would move to the bush would research it first. If you hate paying the high prices, don’t live here. Even if you order your goods from town? You’re still going to have to pay the freight to get it here. Move back to the road system if you don’t like it. Otherwise, shut the hell up. Okay?

And while we’re at it, tourists!  I love you.  I think it’s cute how you walk into the store looking all wide-eyed with awe.  I really do love hearing about why you came to visit.  I really do.  But I don’t like it when you ask me things like “OH MY GOD! WHY ARE YOUR PRICES SO HIGH?!”  Alright.  I’ll even give you that one because sometimes people really don’t understand.  What I really don’t like?  Is when you ask me: “So you really don’t have a road that connects to town?”  Um. NO!  That’s when I want to ask them:  “HOW DID YOU GET HERE?” only to hear them reply: “Oh we flew, we couldn’t drive here.”

Ah HA!  You couldn’t drive here.  DING DING DING!

But I don’t.  Instead I smile brilliantly and then explain that “No, we don’t have a road, that’s why you have to fly in.” because I’m making EVERY attempt not to just reach over and thwack them upside the head.
It’s like the people who walk in EVERY SINGLE DAY, walk over to the Newspaper bin, find it empty and ask: “No paper?”

I have to bite my tongue to keep from saying: “Um.  Did you just ask me that out loud?”

Dusty says he can see the infuriation on my face now when he’s in the store and that happens.  I’ve got to do a better job of hiding it. My God, people.  Seriously.

Where’s Bill Engvall when you need him?  Because…”Here’s Your Sign”

The Insomnia bug was on my back early this morning and I signed onto Messenger to see who was up and about and saw Jenni online.

It was on her back too.   She suggested an actual live phone call.  Which we haven’t done in well over a year…or maybe two.

It was a great phone call, full of laughter and even a few tears because well, sometimes you just have to get a lot of stuff of your chest and really Dionne said that’s what friends are for, right?

Long story short:  Jenni is coming to visit in July to celebrate her birthday!  I’m completely stoked.  I’m going to have to stock up on Captain Morgan’s and Coke and start counting the days.

It’s not even 2007 yet and already I can tell it’s going to be a great year.

Today is my sister-in-law, Jennifer’s, birthday.

Jennifer is married to Howard’s brother Tim, which means I’ve known her for as long as I’ve known Howard.  I first met her when I was still a bratty teenager and she was already married to Tim.  I remember her as always being kind and sweet to me.  We didn’t really get to know each other until after I was married to Howard though, mainly because we just didn’t run in the same circles or even live in the same town.

Then we ended up living in the same town and things changed between us.

Jennifer and I were automatically bonded because, well, when you’re married to one of three brothers who grew up extremely close with each other you just know that as a wife, you’re just  lucky enough to come in second to the brothers.  That’s okay, but all that testosterone can really fill a room, especially when those three boys are together.  This was the main thing that brought Jennifer and I together as friends.  The boys would be talking in their own language and Jennifer and I would be the eye-rolling wives.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re married to wonderful men, but well, you just have to know these boys.

She and I would spend hours on the phone talking even when we lived just five minutes from each other.  We’d share our secrets, laugh together, cry together and always be there for each other.  We’d get together on the weekends to unwind and hang out and have a lot of laughs.  There was one incident involving Doritos and Velveeta cheese, that we still laugh about to this day.  We could be goofy together, be snarky together, be bitchy together, even go so far as to poke fun at those crazy men we ended up with.

Like any family, we’ve had our tension too.  There was a family vacation dubbed “the vacation from hell” that kept us from speaking for a time.  No one was particularly at fault, but at the time, we just all needed to put some daylight between ourselves.  The hiatus didn’t last long though.  Soon enough, we were back to our old tricks, but I remember thinking that I would NEVER let anything so silly come between us again.

Moving to Alaska is the farthest distance I’ve ever lived from her and it made me really sad that I didn’t get to see her last year when we went back to NC for a visit.  Sometimes I don’t think she realizes just how much I really love her and want to spend time with her.  That even though we’re far away doesn’t mean I don’t feel just as close to her as I always have, that distance can lessen the bonds of family, that she seems any less like a sister to me.

I wish I could be there for her birthday today.  Being a Friday, we’d probably have as good a time dancing at a club or just hanging out gabbing over cocktails.  Or even eating Doritos with slices of Velveeta cheese sqeezed between them.

I hope she’s having a great day and knows that her sister in law in Alaska loves her very much.

Happy Birthday Jennifer!

From Overheard in New York

She’s in British Columbia Denial

Girl #1: My brother drives between Alaska and Colorado once a year. It’s a really long drive.
Girl #2: Wait… I thought Alaska wasn’t connected to America.
Guy: It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: So, there’s like, a bridge?
Guy: No. It’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No, it’s not! It’s an island. Canada breaks up over there.
Guy: I swear to god, it’s connected to Canada.
Girl #2: No!

–Coffee shop, Mercer & 3rd

Sometimes it’s so easy? I’m ashamed of myself.

While playing Pictionary tonight, Dusty’s teammate was drawing the picture and Dusty was trying to guess what it was. Here’s how it played out:

Dusty: Sardines?

Joan: No.

Dusty: Sardines? (no that’s not a typo, he asked it again?)

Joan: No.

Dusty: Sardines on Pizza??!?!

Joan: NO!

Billy: Dusty? I’m guessing “sardine” is not the answer.

Then Billy, his wife Alpha, myself and Howard all died right there from laughing so hard.

Yesterday was awesome. From start to finish.

I finally got to Susie’s around noon after running around, getting ready, packing up the food to be cooked, and making our rounds of phone calls, which MOM I know I didn’t call you but I meant to and I just didn’t get around to it but I will call you this weekend. Howard gave me your message though.

First of all, cooking in a ginormous kitchen, a professional kitchen is wonderful. I loved that anything I asked for was there. Susie, Todd, and I were all there together right after I arrived and not once did we bump in to each other. I may just come up with dumb excuses for cooking over there now.

After stuffing the turkey and putting it in the oven, Susie and I toasted with Mimosas and prepared our appetizers. Kathy and Tommi, Dusty’s mom and sister showed up and completed our appetizer table:

….and then we set up the bar:

and finally dinner was ready:

..and then we all sat down and had dinner, and boy was it yummy.

You know?  I’m thinking the lack of alcohol is what makes my family’s Thanksgiving so stressful.  If we all just got good and tanked before we got together (or you know, why not just drink together?) to eat and give thanks, we’d probably have a great time.

Of course, the next day, there would be the guilt trips, the blaming, and the arguments over who is entitled to the biggest room in hell.

Oh well.  It’s an entertaining thought.

Before I start cooking my turkey and getting obsessed with making the perfect Challah bread stuffing, I want to take a minute and express my gratitude on this Thanksgiving Day.

First of all, I am thankful for a husband who, after 13 and a half years of marriage still sends me emails that say this:

“You do not know how much I really love you.  You do not know that I turn down the music or TV when I hear you sing in the bathtub.  I love your voice when you are singing.”

Well honey?  I do now, and I’m without words, forgive me sweetheart.  I hope there are other people in the world who have what we have.  Thank you for allowing me to be myself, for always accepting me and loving me all the more for it.  Mainly, thank you for putting up with me.  I love you.
I’m thankful to have a job that, while it isn’t exactly my dream job, it provides food on my table, clothes on my back, and a means for me to travel and see the world.

I’m thankful for my family.  My memaw, my mom, my stepfather, my sister, my nieces and nephews who are so very far away, and who allow me to write honestly about them here and still love and support me.  My mother especially.  Thank you, mom.

I’m thankful for my friends.  Wow.  A wealth of friendships have been made just in the time we’ve been living in this great state, a vast number in my lifetime, some of them, I’ve lost touch with, some I haven’t.  All of them, I dearly love.

I’m thankful for the friends I will be spending Thanksgiving with today.  Dusty’s family who has all but “adopted” Howard and myself.  Dusty’s aunt Susie who is letting me totally wreck use her industrial kitchen to burn cook my turkey and spend the day in a glorious haze thanks to her Hot Buttered Rum recipe.  I’m grateful for Dusty, the brother I’ve always wanted.  I’m grateful to his mom who goes out of her way, much like everyone else in his family, to put a smile on my face.

I’m thankful that I live in a country where I can speak freely, and I’m thankful that I live in a town where I can sleep with my doors unlocked.

I’m thankful for my four legged furries, my two dogs and my cat, who have humored me by their presence in my life everyday.

I’m thankful that I’m reasonably healthy.  I don’t have any life threatening illnesses, I’ve got two legs to walk with, a voice with which to sing, two arms to hug with, eyes that can take in the beauty of the world and two ears that can hear it too.

From my home to yours, have a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I actually received a nasty email about the comment I made about my friend Julie:

“If she and I ever decide to ‘play for the other team’, we would totally run off and get married.”

I don’t want to post it here but let me just say that it chewed my ass about sexual orientation. It was a long lecturing post about how people can’t just “choose”, they are “born” gay or straight.

And that’s not what upset me because I BELIEVE THAT TOO.

What upsets me is that this person obviously has NO SENSE OF HUMOR. Obviously this person DIDN’T READ MY BIO over there on the left right above the “Blogroll” regarding my affinity for sarcasm.

Obviously this person hasn’t gotten laid in a very long time.

BUT. BUT! Sarcasm aside, I am elated that enough people are reading now that I got my official piece of hatemail.

Oh yes, I HAVE ARRIVED.

That is all. We now continue our regular posting.

So, I’ve been owing this post to her for a long time. Just as I’ve written about Jen and Heather, Julie deserves an equally adoring post as well.

Julie and I met in junior high. In fact, she, Heather, and myself sort of ran in the same circles. Julie was in my band class and she played the drums. I played the clarinet. I was the cliche. Most girls played the flute or the clarinet in our band class, but Julie stood out. She was the cool chick who chose percussion. She was immediately awesome in my eyes. Which is not to say that clarinet and flute players aren’t cool. I mean, we were all band geeks. And band geeks? to me? Are ALL super cool.
When we got to high school, we began to hang out more and get to know each other better. When Heather moved away to Ohio, I was so sad and so was Julie. This brought us closer together. Then Julie herself switched schools which made me even more lonely. Lucky for me, (or unlucky as I would find out later) I had a boyfriend who took up a lot of my time. Julie came to her senses and switched back to our high school and I wasn’t about to let her go again.

We became inseparable whenever I could get away from my boyfriend. I was in a destructive relationship. The boyfriend didn’t like any of my friends. In fact, he didn’t like the fact that I had friends at all. Julie, amazingly, hung in there though. (then again, the psycho didn’t go talking shit about me like he did to my Heather, what a prick!) She knew I was unhappy but also blind-sided by this twisted love. She was patient. She and I would sneak away to do things on the weekend when I could come up with a lie to tell the boyfriend. She never judged me, at least not vocally. She never lectured me either. She knew I’d leave when I had enough and I tried not to complain to her about my relationship woes too.

Julie and I developed a “lingo” between us that drove the said boyfriend crazy. Things like “Duh-rear”, “Let’s go Lay Espanol”, “They got the best biscuits and gravy”. People would give us weird looks but we didn’t care. We knew what it meant and thought it was funny…and frankly still do. Seriously. Eating Chick Fil-A at the food court at the mall when I’m home? One of us can just say it and we still nearly piss ourselves.

After I dumped the boyfriend, Julie and I were joined at the hip, she drove me to school everyday and drove me home. We did the silly things that high school girls do. We bought matching outfits and wore them to school. We got similar hair styles. We were the “Romy and Michelle” of 1992.

Most importantly, we leaned on each other a lot.

I went off to college and Julie and I each grew up and moved on with our lives. She got married. I got married. She had a kid. I moved away. We went five years without seeing each other at one time but we talked at least once a year and we always picked up right up where we left off.

Julie has been through more than one person should have to endure in a lifetime. Things I don’t want to tell you all because I respect her privacy. But let me tell you…the girl’s been through it.

And yet. When I came home last year for vacation, she still made me smile and laugh until my sides hurt, she’s still bubbly and upbeat, she still puts up that stoic front. But at the same time, she KNOWS I want to know her truth and she tells me. And I give her my undying support and love. No matter her choices. I will always be in her corner and she knows it.

And we still say that if we ever decide to “play for the other team”, we’ll totally run off and get married.

When I’m home in NC, I always have a “Julie” day. I’ll go to pick her up at work and say hi to her boss (She is a nurse and the doctor she works for was my own doctor from the time I was 5 weeks old until I graduated high school) and co-workers, we go have lunch and just hang out, mainly we catch up with each other, and leave each other trying not to well up with tears.

I’ll do the same thing when I’m home in February and I can’t wait to see her again. She’s had a “transforming” year. She’s battled a lot this past year too and has come out fighting and just as strong. Girlfriend is getting a big margarita this time around, whether she likes it or not.

Last night, I put on a Dave Matthews CD to fall asleep to.

Not that they actually put me to sleep in any way.

Their music always relaxes me because it is awesome, I love LeRoi Moore on the saxophone, aside from Dave of course. Hell I love all those boys, what am I saying?

Aaaanyway, I thought this was a great song especially with everything going on in the world. Enjoy!

If these walls came crumblin' down
Fell so hard, to make us lose our faith
From what's left you'd figure it out
Still make lemonade taste like a sunny day

Stay, beautiful baby
I hope you
Stay, American baby
American baby

Nobody's laughing now
God's grace lost and the devil is proud
But I've been walking for a thousand miles
One last time, I could see you smile

I (I) hold (hold) on (on) to you
You bring me hope, I'll see you soon
And if I don't see you
I'm afraid we've lost the way

Stay, beautiful baby
I hope you
Stay, American baby
American baby

I (I) hold (hold) on (on) to you
You lift me up and always will
I see you in life
Hope I don't get left behind

I (I) hold (hold) on (on) to you
You bring me hope, I'll see you soon
And if I don't see you
I'm afraid we've lost the way

Stay, beautiful baby
I hope you
Stay, American baby
I hope you
Stay, beautiful baby
I hope you
Stay, American baby
American baby
Nobody's laughing now
But you could always make me laugh out loud