Insane Ramblings

I was ringing up a customer today when he looked at me said:

“Hey, I found your blog last night.”

Before I could feign ignorance, my blush gave me away. I then asked how he found it and he said:

“I found it doing a search on blogger.”

Which is my old blog account.  I thought I’d deleted it but apparantly, it’s still out there in cyberspace even though when I click on the old url, it comes up as no longer existing.

I immediately began doing a backtrack in my mind of things I’ve said, about customers, about living here, mainly about my filthy, filthy language.  I don’t make it publically known to people here that I have a blog.  However, I do know that it IS a public blog and that people could probably track it down pretty easily.  If I didn’t want the whole world to read it, why put it out there right?  I know this.  But I guess it’s still a little embarassing.  I’ve talked about everything from my infertility, to my depression, to my deep loathing of living in certain places, my family history, my good old redneck roots.  I mean, yes, I do write about it here but I don’t blab about my life to people I barely know and I guess that’s kind of how I feel right now about this new person reading it.

After the initial shock wore off, I’m fine with it.  I mean, my job doesn’t really define me in the big picture (though at times in this circumstance, it can seem to) and I really am not going to censor myself.  I chose to do this as a creative outlet.  It even says in my bio that some of what I write is offensive, so everyone is warned.  I choose what I want to put out there to the world.  I’m ready for any kind of consequence.  And of course, getting more readers is always a good thing.
Howard said “well honey, you shouldn’t put things online that you wouldn’t want your own mother reading.”

My mother reads this blog.  So I guess I’m okay.