Never. Drinking. Again. (at least not today)

Last night, steak night turned into yet another dancing free-for-all.  I used Howard’s being back as an excuse.  We all needed to celebrate.

Before going last night, I talked to Dusty on the phone because we are planning our weekend to town next week.  His roommate Brian is a pilot and is flying us in.  Free rides to civilization=very VERY cool. (Sullivan’s and Orso, here we come!)

Aaaaanyway, the time came to get off of the phone and head on over to the bar.

“Call me if you’re bored later, and I’ll come down and drink with you.”  he said
“Okey doke”. I replied before hanging up.

Howard hasn’t had a day off in over three weeks.  And working 13 and 14 hour days, plus squeezing in a few hours of fishing, didn’t leave time for an alcohol binge, and an entire day to sleep it off, so I felt I owed it to him.  (hee!)

I won’t go in to details but here are some highlights:

-Watermelon Cosmo’s are quite possibly my new favorite mixed drink now.

-Dusty came down and then we drunk dialed our friend Kathy and made her come down too!

-Our friend Greg (Kathy’s husband), knows just where a pressure point is on the back of anyone’s neck and it cures heartburn.  Dude.  I’m serious.  He tried it on me and Susie and it bloody worked!

-Dusty, Susie, Kathy, the other Kathy, Greg, Howard and Audrey, all thought it would be hilarious if, every time, I got up to go pee, they would move to another table.  I never fell for it though, just played it off and laughed with them.  Note to readers:  if you’re going to do this to someone?  Leave their drink at the table you’re leaving.  Don’t take it with you!  This gives it all away.

-We decided to do it to Howard when he got up, and realizing there wasn’t a table they hadn’t shuffled to, I decided we should all hide in the utility closet.  And by that time?  A few more friends had joined our table.  There we were all huddled in the closet, waiting for Howard to come out and looked confused.  Turns out, he was oblivious and bellied up to the bar.  We then snuck back to the table.  I don’t think he even noticed but we had all the other bar goer’s either giving us really weird looks or laughing their asses off.

-Dusty and I love to dance with each other, but you get too much alcohol in that boy and his “lead” turns into a forceful push, pull, and jerk session.  He was literally throwing me all over the dance floor.  We were laughing so hard at one point, our heads bumped and I thought I broke my glasses.  We both had to run to the bathroom, we thought we were going to piss ourselves.

-At one point during the night, we were doing some sort of “polka/let’s all stand in a circle and hold hands and go in a circle” and all of a sudden, someone yelled, “Chrissy in the middle! Chrissy in the middle!” and next thing you know, I’m in the middle of the circle dancing and trying my best too look cool (though I’m sure I just looked very drunk), while our friends dance around me in a circle of hands.  Makes one very VERY dizzy.  Never do this drunk.  Ever.

-The bartender kept giving me this big beaming smile and finally I asked him why,and he said, “I’ve never seen you drink this much vodka, you’re usually a beer girl.”  Very observant, that bartender.  Now whip me up another one of those watermelon cosmo’s.

-Before leaving last night, and doling out our share of “I LOVE YOU MAN!”s and hugs, Dusty leaned down and asked me where my truck was.  I said “It’s right over there man!”, just as I realized, it wasn’t.  I promptly freaked the fuck out.  Dusty then said between tear inducing laughter that Susie and Kathy played a prank on me and parked my truck at the gas pump next door.  I then saw them sitting in Susie’s Bronco laughing hysterically.  “BITCHES!” I yelled to them.  Then laughed right along with them.

-While driving home (chill out, we live less than a mile from the bar, in an isolated little village of three hundred, and I drove VERY VERY slow.), Howard asked me how, when the time came, would we ever leave this amazingly cool place.  I simply looked over at him and said “Who’s leaving?”  He then replied: “You have a point.”

I think we gave him a proper homecoming.  And I’m sure once I’m past the headache and nausea, that I’ll remember why I’m usually a “beer girl”.

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