Confused? Bonehead? Just plain dumb but also a bit devious? That would be me.

Last night, I got off work early and decided to take a 45 minute power nap before heading over to our usual steak night.

With Howard gone, I’ve had friends take pity on me, I’ve had invitations to share a meal, have a beer, dance and fall down like an idiot, etc…

The phone rang and it woke me up from my nap, which I appreciated because I might have very well slept through steak night.

“Hey” the voice on the other end said.

“Hey” I replied.

“You going to steak night?” realizing it was Brian, Dusty’s roommate, and Brian failed “Phone Etiquette 101″ and doesn’t identify himself. Which I guess is okay because if you’re my friend, why would you, right? But I digress.

“Yep, of course” I replied, wiping the sleep out of my eyes.

“Wanna ride with us?” he asked.

“Um sure.” I replied

“We’ll be over in about 15 (minutes)”

“Okay” I said before hanging up.

I jumped up, brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair, changed clothes and realized that I needed to stop by the store to pick up a few things before I left and thought it would probably be better just to meet the guys over there, rather than ride with them. So I called them back. The answering machine picked up.

“Hey guys, it’s Chris, I need to run by the store and get some cash and do a few things, so I’ll just meet you over there, go ahead and order for me. See you there!” I hung up, grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

I was almost to the truck when I saw a white minivan pull into the driveway. Obviously NOT Brian or Dusty.

It was our friend Joe, his wife Hoi, and our other friend, Julie.

My confused look was reciprocated.

“You ready?” Joe yelled out the window.

It took a second to realize that it wasn’t Brian who called me. It was Joe. Who also failed the phone etiquette class.

I played it off and told them I’d meet them at the bar, etc.

When I got there and sat down at the table, Joe had a Heineken waiting for me.

“Guys have I got a funny story.” I said, before taking my first drink.
So I told them.

“That explains the dazed and bewildered look.” Joe said after my confession.
Not 10 minutes later, Dusty walked in the door, looking just as confused. He walked over to me.

Now, I LOVE to torture Dusty because he makes it sooo easy. Like me, he’s very susceptible to guilt trips. I switched to actress mode.

“Geez, I thought you guys would never show up.” I feigned.

He cocked his head to the side, and sat down and ordered a beer. I let him get settled in as Joe, Hoi, and Julie were trying to suppress their laughter. They knew exactly where I was going with this.

He turned to me and said:

“Did I tell you I was coming to steak night tonight?”


“Was that today in the store?”


My poker face could have won an Oscar.

He then shook his head, took a swig of his beer, and he blushed. He blushes easily. Adorable bastard that he is.

“I think my job is really stressing me out, I’m forgetting things so easily lately. I’m so embarassed! I forgot! I’m so glad you called!” He said, not even doubting me. (See how he makes it easy?)

“Me too, geez, luckily these guys were here.” I said.

“I’m so sorry Chrissy!” he said.

“It’s okay…..” I said with a big broad smile

“What?!!!?” He asked suspiciously.

We all fell into fits of laughter. Then I told him what happened.

He was actually relieved that he wasn’t losing his mind. I was.

“Well girlfriend, order up another beer, we’re staying up all night.” He said with a smug smile.
How’s that for flipping the script and downplaying my inept ability to tell my friends apart on the phone?

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