Random phone calls

Yesterday, I got a quick phone call from the manager in St. Mike telling me she was going on like her 7th day without a shower. When I start to miss St. Mike? I need only to think of the long days spent without water…then I get the hell over it. She also belted out a barrage of statements regarding her job and what the hell the powers that be could do with it. Now this woman? Is usually soft spoken, and usually upbeat, and usually inquiring as to how I’m doing. Usually never letting on how she’s doing, even though I ask. A LOT. I was so proud…but boy did I feel sorry for her. I suggested she simply close the store, get on a plane to Nome and spend a few days drinking heavily until the water problem was fixed. For a minute, I thought she was going to take me up on that offer. But then I remembered that not everyone self-medicates with heavy drinking like me. She, of course, politely declined. But it did make her laugh.

Also, Tess called me late yesterday afternoon. And of course, everyone came in right at that moment, because everyone is against me and no one wants me to talk on the phone. I mean. GOD FORBID. Then she had the nerve to tell me that SHE got to blow bubbles on her lunchbreak and I didn’t. Which was kind of mean, but we both acknowledge we’re psycho bitches and so it’s really just a term of endearment to each other. Of course, right in the middle of her trying to tell me about her hard day, I, of course, have to rush off the phone. One of these days, she’s just not going to believe that people really do start bottlenecking at the registers, once I get on the phone with anyone of importance (to me). I did, however, call her back, just to prove that I did care.

Then, just this morning, someone called to place an order and after giving me his shopping list, he asked “Hey, who was that guy who was SUBSIDIZING for you while you were gone.” Without missing a beat I replied “(Relief Manager’s Name) SUBSTITUTED for us, why?” He replied “Well, he was an asshole, I didn’t like him, please don’t let him SUBSIDIZE for you any more.”
“Sure thing there Fred”, I replied stifling a laugh.

Using words out of context will never cease to be funny to me.

Nor will posting about my random phone calls. So get used to it.

3 Responses

  1. Amy Says:

    People probably didn’t like that I subsidized for you on insane ramblings…next time i will let Roxy do it! :D

  2. Chris Says:

    I’m sure all of my five readers loved your subsidizing, Amy. Though I’m sure we’d all like a good Roxy post.

  3. Tess Says:

    I’d forgotten about that! It helps if I tell you that I saved the bottle of bubbles and there will probably supply enough left when you get here next that we can blow bubbles until our hearts burst, doesn’t it?

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