If ever I felt like 10 was terminal? I’d be at about an 8 right now. And I’m not even physically ill. I am mentally drained. Today? I applied payments to two different accounts, both of which were wrong. All while the customers stood there. I was mortified and corrected myself right away and I’m sure they were thinking…”Shit, this girl really DOES need a vacation”.
Tomorrow night? I’m attempting Eggplant Parmesan from scratch for Howard’s birthday AND a carrot cake (also from scratch). If you hear about his death on Thursday? You won’t even need to ask why.
I just keep thinking that this time next week? I’ll be in my old room at my memaw’s, the one that used to belong to my mom when she was growing up, sleeping on the extra fluffy pillows, and comfy bed she bought just for me (and Howard). And she, my sister, and my mom will be brushing my hair out of my eyes (an annoying habit but one that feels comfortably familiar now that I live so far away) whenever I’m within 5 feet of any of them.
Is it weird be in my thirties and still like that three most important women in my life still like to shower me with affection? Does anyone just get those kind of days when you want your mommy? memaw? big sister?
Well I do. And I’m sure I only get this way because I live so far away from them. It’s nice to be the “baby”….and to actually revel in it a bit.
Okay, go hurl and stop rolling your eyes. Wish me luck on the birthday dinner….LOTS of it.