Jan 10

If ever I felt like 10 was terminal? I’d be at about an 8 right now. And I’m not even physically ill. I am mentally drained. Today? I applied payments to two different accounts, both of which were wrong. All while the customers stood there. I was mortified and corrected myself right away and I’m sure they were thinking…”Shit, this girl really DOES need a vacation”.

Tomorrow night? I’m attempting Eggplant Parmesan from scratch for Howard’s birthday AND a carrot cake (also from scratch). If you hear about his death on Thursday? You won’t even need to ask why.

I just keep thinking that this time next week? I’ll be in my old room at my memaw’s, the one that used to belong to my mom when she was growing up, sleeping on the extra fluffy pillows, and comfy bed she bought just for me (and Howard). And she, my sister, and my mom will be brushing my hair out of my eyes (an annoying habit but one that feels comfortably familiar now that I live so far away) whenever I’m within 5 feet of any of them.

Is it weird be in my thirties and still like that three most important women in my life still like to shower me with affection? Does anyone just get those kind of days when you want your mommy? memaw? big sister?

Well I do. And I’m sure I only get this way because I live so far away from them. It’s nice to be the “baby”….and to actually revel in it a bit.

Okay, go hurl and stop rolling your eyes. Wish me luck on the birthday dinner….LOTS of it.

Jan 7

I think I might have broken my record for typing the word “fuck” in just one post. Sorry mom!

But dammit, I’m sticking to my guns.

Today, we’re throwing out the Christmas Tree and cleaning the house because next weekend? I’ll be packing and going ape shit with excitement because we’re leaving for our vacation!

You know? It will be nice to actually miss this place, and not dread coming back. I mean, we loved our Bering Sea village, but let’s face it, it was DRY and we were a minority. Here? We fit right in with the alcoholics and other misfits.

Pepper leaves today too. His empty little nut sack healed up just fine. And I’m not sure we’re ready to give him back. He’s a pain in the ass who likes to carry my shoes around. Yes, he just carries them around. He doesn’t chew on them, just likes to walk around with them in his mouth. He drives the dog and cat up the wall but is very lovable….okay Nick needs to come get him like NOW. I’m certain that I will cry just a little bit.

(such drama, he lives like a half mile away and I can see Pepper anytime I want)

I think I might have actually broken another record. For the most boring post ever!

Jan 5

I’m feeling a little less tired tonight so I’ll just share a tidbit from my week, because it amuses the hell out of me, and makes me feel all “I am WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR”. Boys? There was a reason God created Estrogen. One of them, to keep a certain LYING, LAZY Fucker shaking in his boots. To make absolutely sure that same LLF is completely job scared. Because he has pissed this crazy bitch off for the last em-effing time. The hilarious part? I didn’t have to say anything to get my point across.

Remember the whole “Don’t worry Chris, I won’t let you down, we’ll get through this?”

Yeah. Well. Guess who whined and moaned because he wouldn’t be getting off at his regularly scheduled time because of inventory (nevermind that I told the fuckhead for an entire month that we would be working ALL day, the ENTIRE business day, no exceptions)? Yep. Irony people. Alanis? Take a lesson. (Does she still sing that song for people? If she does, I hope she does it in a completely self-deprecating way) Anywho.

Not only did he whine and moan, he feigned sick. And completely had the nerve to practically admit he was lying about it! In fact, he was out for two whole days. He returned today. I didn’t tell him “good morning”. I didn’t ask how he was. Now normally? honestly? Even with how bitchy I am, I am cordial, even with employees who have pissed me off. He knows this. The fact that I didn’t even acknowledge his presence? shook him to the very core. He stayed the hell out of my way. He burned me. He let me down. And might I add, I have YET to refuse him anything he has EVER requested of me.

When I finally did approach him, it was to TELL him I would be changing his comfortable schedule to suit MY needs, not his. I didn’t give him a choice. He looked up at me, with what I swore was a look of fear, instead of the usual smirk, and replied “no problem, Chris”.

That’s right, you dumb fuck, 12 years? Is nothing to me. Cross me again? Refuse me again? Feign sick without a doctor’s note? Your benefits? Your 12 years of service? Your comfortable little 6 hour day, 5 day work week? While completely thinking you are getting over on the young, female boss? Over, Mr. Ironic. All Over. And I’ll do it with the company’s blessing.

Now ya’ll go and have a good weekend. *And I totally love Alanis* Out of context or not.

Jan 3

The inventory is done, finito. Thank you, Mary, mother of Jesus. But not without a bit of irony of which I will elaborate when I’m up for it. I’m exhausted. Everything hurts.

But HELLO 2006! More later, the microwave just dinged and I am resorting to lame frozen burritos for dinner.

Yes, I am that tired.

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