reason 985983548098 of why I could possibly be fired

There is this one particular co-worker who annoys me to the point of wishing hot pokers were shoved in my eyes rather than have to deal with her (co-worker does not actually work here in the store but actually works in our main office, our MAIN main office, the company that actually owns the company I work for).

Either the girl isn’t getting laid near enough or just has waaaay too much free time on her hands.

When I was on my previous assignment (notice how I’m trying not to give anything away for fear of being “dooced”?), right before we took over the store we have now, she actually called me one day and asked this:

“Um hi Chris, this is *Denise* (named changed to protect the guilty), hi um (the way she talks and stammers around her friggin’ point drives me nuts as well) yeah could you do me a favor?”

“I hope so?”

“Yeah um when you or whoever sends in the paperwork (can’t name the paperwork either because that’ll give me away) can you PLEASE tell them to MAKE SURE it’s in the exact order to which it is listed on the paper, because it is in order for the most part but there are a couple of them out of order.”

*is speechless for a few seconds* “So, you need to me to make sure all the paperwork is in order to which it is listed?”

“Yes”

“And this is why you called me?”

“Yes”

“So you called me because a couple of papers were out of order?”

“Yes”

*silence on my part…and more confused blinking of eyes*

“oooookey dokey, I’ll get right on that.”

I should be so damn lucky to have only that to worry about.

THEN, she sends me an email today that is flagged as highly important, I’m thinking I’ve screwed up in a major way. The email reads:

“Hi, you haven’t sent in any (of this particular paperwork to which I cannot name here) and it’s probably because you don’t have any to send in, but when you fax in your other paperwork can you please make a cover sheet and tell me that you didn’t get anything (on that particular sheet)?”

This email was flagged highly important. And it was in all caps.

Good God, if this girl doesn’t drink, I’m thinking maybe she should look into it. I’m also thinking of sending my next batch of paperwork, all gummed up and grossly out of order just to be mean. However, that might prompt a full out office shooting on her part and I don’t want that on my conscience.

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