Sep 29

A few people here are calling me Christina rather than Chris. Which is weird. That’s never happened before unless it’s someone who just can’t remember my name and they accidently call me something similar like Christine, Christy, even Crystal. lol

The mayor calls me only Christina now ever since I told him my middle name (Renee), and he just gushed about how beautiful my name was. Which I’ve never thought about, I’m like every other person on Earth. I hate the name my mom gave me. As much as I hate my father, I prefer the name he wanted for me which was Katherine. Of course, if I’d been named that, I’d prefer the name Christina.

Howard’s family has always called me Christina because Howard’s brother’s name is Chris. And let me tell you, two Chris’s at a family function, especially with alcohol, gets a little crazy. I also have a stepbrother named Chris, so when my mom and stepdad discuss their kids, they always have to say “your Chris” or “my Chris”.

Howard usually calls me Chrissy, or “Tissy”, which oh my God, he is gonna shit frisbees now that I’ve just announced that to the entire internet. Sorry honey!

Chrissy seems to be picking up popularity too though. I noticed at this year’s management conference, a lot of people from the Anchorage office called me Chrissy. Tess calls me Chrissy (and I usually call her Tessy). Kristen from Nuiqsut calls me Chrissy most of the time too. I don’t mind that because that’s what my pawpaw always called me and it just warms my heart to hear people call me that too.

One more thing, I also have a friend who goes by “Chrissy” officially, (just like I go by “Chris” officially), but her husband calls her “Chris” and of course Howard calls me “Chrissy”, so everytime we get to together with the two of them (which isn’t often anymore because they are back in NC), you can imagine the confusion.

But I like Chris, have always like Chris and most people know me by just Chris. But you can call me anything you want, except for Christine and Tina. My mom will get involved then, because she forbad anyone from calling me that growing up. Thank God. No offense to the Christine’s and the Tina’s, but let’s just not piss off my mom okay?

Sep 28

I can sit here and blame my slackdom on the power outtage and loss of internet and though that did actually happen again, that’s not the entire reason why I’ve been gone. I’ve just felt really bluesy and really clingy towards Howard.

Mainly because I’m still really shaken by James’ death. I didn’t think it would affect me this much but I’ve found myself bursting into tears at random places and times. In the bathroom, in the shower, while washing dishes, lying in bed at night. And it’s not an inkling of the pain that Sharon and James and the entire Ishnook family is feeling. But I find myself crying for each one of them and crying for James. Wishing I could turn back the clock and somehow warn all of them. Take little James into my arms and tell him how much he was really loved. But I can’t….and so I cry, and the pain lessens just a bit. Howard has been very tender with me too. Not that he isn’t anyway, but just extra TLC, like pulling me into his lap when I burst into tears while eating dinner and rolling over and pulling me to his side of the bed when he hears me crying at night and he doesn’t say anything. Just lets me feel it. But again, for as many tears as I’ve shed, it will never be near the tears of his family.

On a happier note, Howard and I were recruited by the radio station to do a voice over! It went something like “Hey, this is Chris with (my company’s name) in McGrath, and you’re listening to KSKO 870 AM, serving the interior of Alaska”. Howard did the exact same thing, except of course with his name. We were laughing at how funny it would have been if we’d said “Hey ya’ll!” And you all know that would have been hilarious.

Also, how happy am I that Survivor and The Amazing Race is back on? Pretty fucking happy, let me tell you. But the Paolo family needs to go, and mom needs to get another family. If I EVER talked to my mother that way? She’d have been all “Hell no, stop the damn car NOW, I don’t give a damn if this is a race, you little brat, your ass is grass!” And she’d have been right! Good lord, I might be a potty mouth but you don’t see me talkin’ to my elders like that. Especially someone like my mother. And if you ever met her and felt her wrath, you’d understand. So kids? Talking to your mom like she’s a piece of shit, doesn’t look cool at all. In fact, I’m betting that 99.9 percent of the ladies think it’s a turnoff. Myself included. Selfish, spoiled little fuckers.

Also, I’m totally into the new HBO series, Rome. Oh my GOD, the eye candy.

I’ve also just started Season 4 of SFU. Deep down that’s probably another reason why I cry a lot lately. Not really. At least I hope not.

I also bought a bunch of new books that I’ll never get to read but will surely make me look like I have some sort of intellect by simply adorning my shelf.

Gotta go, I’ve lots of netsurfing to make up for. And to all of you who sent emails and to Karyn and Heather who left comments about James, thank you all so much for your sweet words.

Sep 22

Okay, so I tried and tried to do this backwards to make it forwards in blogger (you’re sitting there wondering what the hell I’m talking about aren’t you?), but I did it forwards and it came out backwards. Lord God I’m tired, but anyway, the following posts go from last to first. So scroll down to the first post of 9/22/05 and read going back up the page. You’ll understand. Whew! This blogging business can be hard! Cry for me.

Sep 22


This picture is of the men eating first. At Slavic, you eat in shifts with the men and priest going first. The guy with the moustache is Father Stan. Notice Howard to the right in the white shirt. He was honored to be called to the “first group”. Posted by Picasa

Sep 22


This is two of James’s sisters and one of his brothers. That’s little James’ in the background. From left to right in the foreground is Olga, Jade and Bernard. I mean, seriously, are the not the cutest little Eskimos you ever saw? Posted by Picasa

Sep 22


This is Sharon Ishnook, the matriarch of the Ishnook clan. Posted by Picasa

Sep 22


This pictures is of big James, also known simply as Jimmy. He’s holding their youngest baby boy, Ashton Rayne. That’s Charlie Fitka to the right.  Posted by Picasa

Sep 22

In James’ memory, I want to tell you a little bit about his family. In many Alaskan villages, a lot of people believe in the philosophy of Hilary Clinton..”It takes a village..” But James’ mom and dad believed differently. They believed that their children were their sole responsibility, and they loved them. They have 8 including little James. Howard and I were always impressed by how “hands on” and devoted James (little James was obviously named after his dad) and Sharon were. They were and are excellent parents. Out of all the many children in that village, this was the second biggest family and the most well-behaved. They were always a joy when they came in the store, they were always polite, never demanding, and always smiling and laughing. Sharon would be talking to a person but immediately turn her attention to her babies if they beckoned to her. They were forever, hugging and kissing. This past year, I was at the washeteria and big James brought the whole brood over for their baths and I asked him jokingly what he wanted for Christmas and he looked at me and said “another baby”. He was so serious, and I remember thinking “God love the man who already has 8 kids, wanting yet another one, AND who loves taking care of them.” The teachers there, told me that James was the most active parent in the village. He was the one always volunteering during student functions. Sharon, James, and their family set a loving example to the rest of the community. I remember the last time being with little James and it was at “Slavic”. Also known as Russian Christmas. It was our second year celebrating with them at the home of Charlie and Alice Fitka’s. We laughed together, ate together and listened as the children sang hymns in Russian. I remember the Ishnook children smiling and laughing and having the best time, behaving under the watchful eye of their parents. So, I’m sharing some of these pictures of that special family, during our “Slavic 2005″ celebration. In memory of a special little boy. Posted by Picasa

Sep 20


Do you see the beautiful, inquisitive little guy in this picture? He’s the one on the right sitting with his legs crossed looking at his sister. This was taken last year in our Bering Sea village, after his sister won this Robot at our customer appreciation day, and they were so excited they came to our house after the day was done to show us what all it could do. He was so excited and happily shared this joy with his siblings. He had a slight lisp but a smile that could light up the world. And I don’t think he could have been any more tender hearted. So take a good look at this beautiful angel because that’s what he is now. But, let me tell you why….last night…he took a rope and hung himself and swept his nine year old life off this earth because he’d been tortured by bullies for the past few months. My heart is broken. A nine year old should not even know what suicide means much less feel so trapped to actually carry it out. His mother tried to stop it, even going so far as to contacting the state authorities. But did it stop? No. And now James felt he was left with only one option. He didn’t deserve this. So, I ask that you keep little James in your heart, look at his picture and remember, and maybe the next time you see a kid being picked on, you’ll feel compelled to intervene. James Ishnook, I hope your sweet little soul is at peace. Posted by Picasa

Sep 19

There is this one particular co-worker who annoys me to the point of wishing hot pokers were shoved in my eyes rather than have to deal with her (co-worker does not actually work here in the store but actually works in our main office, our MAIN main office, the company that actually owns the company I work for).

Either the girl isn’t getting laid near enough or just has waaaay too much free time on her hands.

When I was on my previous assignment (notice how I’m trying not to give anything away for fear of being “dooced”?), right before we took over the store we have now, she actually called me one day and asked this:

“Um hi Chris, this is *Denise* (named changed to protect the guilty), hi um (the way she talks and stammers around her friggin’ point drives me nuts as well) yeah could you do me a favor?”

“I hope so?”

“Yeah um when you or whoever sends in the paperwork (can’t name the paperwork either because that’ll give me away) can you PLEASE tell them to MAKE SURE it’s in the exact order to which it is listed on the paper, because it is in order for the most part but there are a couple of them out of order.”

*is speechless for a few seconds* “So, you need to me to make sure all the paperwork is in order to which it is listed?”

“Yes”

“And this is why you called me?”

“Yes”

“So you called me because a couple of papers were out of order?”

“Yes”

*silence on my part…and more confused blinking of eyes*

“oooookey dokey, I’ll get right on that.”

I should be so damn lucky to have only that to worry about.

THEN, she sends me an email today that is flagged as highly important, I’m thinking I’ve screwed up in a major way. The email reads:

“Hi, you haven’t sent in any (of this particular paperwork to which I cannot name here) and it’s probably because you don’t have any to send in, but when you fax in your other paperwork can you please make a cover sheet and tell me that you didn’t get anything (on that particular sheet)?”

This email was flagged highly important. And it was in all caps.

Good God, if this girl doesn’t drink, I’m thinking maybe she should look into it. I’m also thinking of sending my next batch of paperwork, all gummed up and grossly out of order just to be mean. However, that might prompt a full out office shooting on her part and I don’t want that on my conscience.

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