Yesterday while in the midst of a major snoozefest (see previous posts), we were awakened by Ben banging on our door telling us we had a load of freight.
Freight on a fucking holiday.
Freight when aaaalllll last week, I called this specific air carrier and BEGGED them to bring over our chill/freeze because we were out of eggs and hamburger patties and I had angry Eskimos ready to fry me on the grill. I kept getting empty promises of “Yes ma’am we’ll fly it right over, you’ll probably get it this afternoon.”
THEN we called them Friday, as in the Friday before the holiday and said we would be closed on Monday to PLEASE not deliver anything that particular day.
I guess that pissed the fuckers off.
But I digress….this has nothing to do with ice cream.
So, Howard got up and dressed and I started cooking eggs and ham and biscuits and we decided to invite Ben and Kristen over to eat so we could all bitch and moan together about having to do actual work on OUR god damn holiday.
Well. Brunch turned into LazyAssFest 2005. Every single one of us had on pajamas, and we all crashed in our living room the rest of the day and watched a marathon of “The Twilight Zone”. Finally, after about the millionth Sonic Commercial plugging the new Cookie Dough milkshake thingys, Kristen and I jumped up and said “that’s it, we’re going to the store!” She and I bought Vanilla Ice Cream, milk, cookie dough, whipped cream and cherries. Ice Cream for dinner? You bet your ass! We all tucked in, while Howard opted for left over chicken and salad (healthy fucker just wanted to make us all look bad).
After about 5 or 6 bites, we began to realize that cookie dough in ice cream tends to coagulate together and we all had these huge chocolate chip doughballs swimming in vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. It sounds yummy but trust me, this shit sticks to your ribs. We were miserably full. I thought we were going to throw up. I couldn’t even look in the ice cream section today and I wanted to gag everytime I rang up a package of chocolate chip cookies.
Perhaps, this is the diet I’ve been looking for! Perhaps I will give up chocolate cookie dough forever now! Not really, I’m sure I’ll be having the exact same thing next week whenever the craving hits but for now, I’m sticking to leftover chicken and salad.