More Random Rambles (because apparantly I’ve plateau’ed when it come to creativity)

I was reading my copy of People magazine last night (yes I have a subscription, so shut it) and in the Book Review section I found an interesting one I’d like to read called, “Against Depression” by Peter D. Kramer. It said and I quote: “A psychiatrist and author of “Listening to Prozac”, Kramer presents a powerful argument against romanticizing (and thus tolerating) depression as ‘artistic’ or ’soulful’ rather than treating it as a disease.” First of all. Who the hell are those people who think it is “soulful” or “artistic”? Who are you psychos? Dealing with the disease (yes I agree that it is in fact, a disease) myself, I find that it is anything but. The days when your brain is so scrambled that you cry over not finding a mated sock, or you’re not sure if you can physically drag yourself out of bed? Those are dark days, my friends. If only depression were that easy. If only, we all had the luxury of actually choosing to be sad or happy. Because depression? doesn’t give you a choice. It rules your life and unless treated, will not go away easily. I’m interested in reading this one, because when I find out who thinks it’s “soulful” or “artistic”, I’m outing you, do you hear me? Right here on this blog, so watch out.

Howard ordered these new drinks from our produce department made from Bolthouse Farms. So far, I’ve had the Chai Tea and Orange Juice and Lord, are they good! I’ve just downed the entire liter of OJ and have a Chai waiting for me in the fridge. The Chai tastes a lot like Egg Nog, which I LOVE, but it has very little fat and lots of protein so I don’t have to feel so guilty for drinking it. Howard loves me, yes he does.

Earlier in the week, I found out that one of my favorite people back in our previous village was killed suddenly on Tuesday. I didn’t sleep that night and really, honestly, contemplated the fragility of life. One minute you’re getting a cup of coffee and telling someone good morning and the next minute, you’re dead. See this? is why my grandfather is the wisest man who ever lived. And more decisions were made about my life. I don’t want to waste another second not being happy or at least not trying to be. Current Depression not withstanding of course, which I am treating, so think of me ya’ll because the gloves are off.

You know, I’ve been living here in “hell or somewhere similar” for over three months now and have barely mentioned Kristen and Ben, who have been our lifeblood since we got here. They are the couple we are training (yes, scary…I realize this) and with whom we have formed a tight bond. They have become more than co-workers, they are friends, and I really don’t think…no. I KNOW we couldn’t have made it through these hellish past few months without them. Ben is practically a 21 year old version of Howard. They have the same sense of humor (sometimes Kristen and I think the same brain)and laugh a lot together. Kristen and I share the same tastes in music and own an almost identical music collection. I’m talking Rascal Flatts, Dixie Chicks, and Switchfoot, so you know I’m giving that girl some respect. We can talk freely with one another comfortably. Kristen once said “we don’t have to make an effort to be friends with you guys”, and she hit it dead on. We have dinner every Sunday, and spend a lot of our free time, hanging out with them. Though, at times, we’re forced to separate work from friendship, they are mature enough to understand it and know the difference. AND, Ben is the reason my computer is fixed so Ben? I am sorry it’s taken me three damn months to finally give credit where credit is due. You Pimp. (Ben thinks he’s a pimp, we often humor him and tell him it is so) I, in fact, bought Ben a cap while in Anchorage with “Pimpleton State PIMPS” emblazoned on the lid. Kristen is the cutest thing ever and has the personality to match. They will go far, those two, and have brought sunshine to many cloudy days So see? Good friends seem to be made no matter what the situation. What the hell have I been bitching about?

Howard was going to fly back on Friday but the airline screwed up his reservation so he’s stranded in Anchorage until Monday morning. Poor thing. Being left to his own devices in an actualy city with restaurants and movie theatres, Wal-Mart and Barnes and Noble. Oh the pain he must be feeling. But he swears it’s not near as fun without me so I feel just a wee bit sorry for him, but only a bit. I am, trying to live vicariously through him and am pleading with him to go out, have fun, drink lots of alcohol on my behalf and shop til he drops. Oh and I told him if he doesn’t catch at least one Salmon, to not even think about getting on that plane. He has two days to pull it off. We’ll see what happens.

Ya’ll the snow is almost all gone now, and I am glad to see that yes, there is green grass here, and there is actually a river under all that ice. I am happy to see it. Overjoyed. Sure, it’s only 45 degrees outside and overcast most days, but it’s June for God’s sake and I’m damn happy to see some signs of…dare I say it?…warmer weather. Thank you Lord in Heaven!

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