That tired old soap box

Jean and Pam made it back to NC just fine, though Pam is still trying to get past the jet lag that comes with traveling through 4 different time zones. Hey, she was the one who insisted on coming, right? I do miss them though. Pam made some interesting observations of us while she was here, prompting us to make more decisions about our current situation. It will all come out eventually, I promise.

Which brings me to my next point. Why is it now that I’m in my thirties, and have been married almost 12 years, everyone expects any kind of big news to be that I’m pregnant? For example:

Me:”Hey, guess what? I’ve got something really important to tell you.”

Any family member or good friend: “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

SO now I immediately follow up an announcement with..
“Hey guess what?…and NO I’m not pregnant.”

Jesus Christ, anyone who knows me knows my problems with fertility and the fact that I cannot carry children, so get off it already, okay? I guess the only way to get them to shut up, is if I go ahead and have a hysterectomy, but guess what? The doctor says I’m too young, so for now, stop and think before you ask dumb questions mmmkay? Oh. And incidently, I love you all more than anything in the world.

Which brings me to my next point, and I don’t want to get into the details because well they’d bore you but I had an enlightening conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. This friend thinks I am insane for living in Alaska, or even having chased this dream of mine. This friend thinks I should be living back in North Carolina, with a house, a hefty mortgage and a two cars. He thinks I am abnormal for even coming to Alaska. I asked him if that meant that every person who up and moves to Alaska is stupid and abnormal? He never answered. I do agree with him on some levels, I really do but what is it with people who think there is a standardized way to live a life? Is there a manual somewhere that says before you are thirty or by the time you are thirty, you should be settled permanently, have x amount of children and be in debt out the wazoo? And by the way, I am insane and abnormal anyway, so how does that argument even hold water? He says all my other friends just aren’t being honest with me and he’s sure they all feel the same way. So, let me ask you friends, do you think I’m nuts for having the guts to chase a dream? Also, let me say that if you do believe like my friend (who in spite of his narrow minded points of view, I do love in a “If I had to pick an annoying big brother, it surely would be you!”), you are not wrong either. I just believe people live their lives in different ways, pursue different forms of happiness, etc. If you choose to have the house, the family, etc, and that makes you happy, then that is your right way to live. If I choose to pack up everything I own, and move to Alaska to do something crazy, and that makes me happy, (minus current depression of course) isn’t that my right way? I didn’t break any laws, or do anything that might make me go straight to hell. Okay, I’ll stop now. But I am interested in hearing your feedback. And please don’t placate me on this, okay? All opinions are valid and will not offend me, I just want to see what you all really think.

I’m out ya’ll…have a safe and superfun weekend! The sun is actually shining here and the river is finally breaking up…I may even get out of the house on my day off.

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