Oh so funny…I nearly had tea coming out my nose over this blog.
Was it me or did anyone else notice among all the things I miss about “civilization”, most of them have to do with food?
I can’t help it, I like to eat!
So does Howard. This does not make watching our weight easy!
I remember on our very first date years ago, we went to a Mexican restaurant and fought over who got the last cheesestick! lol
He knew he was in love right then and there.
I was his dream girl, FINALLY a woman who wasn’t afraid to order appetizers, entree, dessert AND could eat it all while being watched.
I never understood those girls who were afraid to eat in front of guys. What, you think the guy thinks you never eat? (Come on girls, we all know you dive headfirst into a bag of chips and scarf down some Ho-Ho’s as soon as you’ve bid your date adieu) Do you honestly think the guy is going to fall down at your feet and go home thinking “God, this is the woman for me, she never eats a bite, I’m in love, I must marry her.”?
I mean, no, don’t make a pig of yourself, guy or no guy, that’s just bad manners, but if you’re hungry, eat dammit!
:::hopping down off soap box and going to look for lunch:::::::
I can honestly say, even though Howard couldn’t whisk me to the movies and obligatory birthday dinner, I had a great birthday.
For starters, I took the entire day off. Yep, that’s right, the ENTIRE day. Didn’t step foot in the store once!
And I got phone calls from the family, my mom who was in the NC mountains on vacation and was sulking because she only won 10 bucks at Harrah’s casino, my memaw who wasn’t eating an ice cream sandwich and my sister, whose kids were screaming at her to let them tell me “Happy Birthday!” Which was really cute until my 3 (soon to be 4 next week) year old nephew gets on the phone and says
“Happy birthday memaw!”
I even got a call from Melonie, who works in the Anchorage office and assists the accountant. She was really smooth about it too.
“Hey Chris, it’s Melonie”
“Hey Melonie, what’s up?” (wondering why she’s calling me at home…)
“You’re going to hate me for doing this, but it’s part of my job and I have to do it.”
(At this point, I’m wondering what the hell is going on, did my books not balance?….a safe issue?…my mind is racing)
“What’s going on?”
Then she breaks out in song….”Happy birthday to you….”
“Was that it?” I asked
“Yep, part of my job is singing to all the managers and your job is to listen…” she said followed by a giggle.
The rest of my day was spent napping, washing the dishes and doing a load of laundry, and catching up on some reading. Howard came home and made fried chicken with mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuits, and brownies substituted as a birthday cake and he even placed a musical candle smack in the middle. We watched the movie of my choice…and I picked “Gone With The Wind”. We sat through all 41/2 hours and he didn’t complain once. He topped it off with a beautiful gold rope chain and a gold St. Andrew Russian Orthodox Cross pendant. I went to bed, thoroughly satisfied (even if I did feel like a fat cow after eating that enormous, artery- clogging dinner of my choosing).
So even without the “Alice Springs Chicken” or Mi Krob and Pineapple Fried Rice and the latest release, it was a fabulous day.
-Mexican Brunch on Saturdays
-Lazy Saturday afternoons sipping latte’s and browsing books at Barnes and Noble
-Cocktails at our house on a Friday night
-Weekday lunches at Flaming Amy’s Burrito Barn with friends
-Fresh sushi rolls from “the Teeter”
-Hot, humid, days spent on the North end of Carolina Beach
-Weekend drives up the coast while eating junk food and buying fresh seafood.
-Birthday weekends spent in the mountains and shopping in downtown Boone and Blowing Rock.
-Surprising my family with an impromptu weekend visit
-Working with my favorite bunch of girls at OECC
-Getting all dressed up and attending the Gourmet Chef Auction fundraiser for the March Of Dimes sponsored in part by OECC and feeling glamorous for one night every November.
-Climbing out on a rock on Wilson’s creek during our Memorial Day camping trips and reading until my butt gets numb.
-Camping anywhere for that matter.
-Loading up the dog or dog(s) and having a picnic in the park.
-Hiking until my legs are sore for a week.
-Going to my favorite gym and spending an hour in the sauna gossiping with strangers.
-Spending insane amounts of money at Wal-Mart and Old Navy.
-Being able to drive to Mystic, Connecticut for a slice of pizza and homemade maple walnut ice cream.
-Being able to drive to New York for a cheap weekend and shopping in Tribeca
-Taking showers long enough to actually run out of hot water.
-Hanging out at the library on a rainy day.
-My hairdresser who gave shampoos so amazing, that I would pay 13 bucks just for that.
-Chocolate Mocha milkshakes from “Port City Java”
As much as I love this experience in “Bush Alaska”, I agree with my former village buddies, Kim and Kate, “the real world is HIGHLY UNDERRATED”…
Now that we’re having to learn Spanish, Howard keeps running around the house saying things like “Como usta usted?” (The spelling is completely wrong here I know but I’m writing it phonetically for effect) and then following it up with the famous “Whoopee Boys” line of “Perry Como’s Dead!?!” Which was funny the first couple of times but now it’s just annoying. But what really chaps my “you know what” is, though rusty, he knows a whole hell of a lot more Spanish than I do. And everyday he asks “Did you practice any Spanish today?”
He has a point though, I really need to get with the program and we’ve decided that one month before we leave, we are only going to speak to each other in Spanish. I (being the smartass that I am) had to ask “Does this include arguments?”. His reply being my trademark “eyeroll”.
In other news, I found something really interesting in my websurfing last night. Did you know that St. Christina is the Patron saint of Mental Illness? Is that not a hoot…if not a little prophetic?
AND this morning I woke up at 8:14am…do you know what time I went to bed? (Don’t you hate questions that aren’t really meant to be answered?) Sometime around 11:30pm. Yep, you read it right, I got OVER eight hours of sleep last night! I am feeling rested, refreshed and ready to take on the day! At least at this point and time anyway.
See? It’s now 6:09am and I’ve been up since 3:30am. I went to sleep around 10:30 last night. 5 HOURS. This after bragging to Tess that I’d gotten 7 hours the night before. Heh. Spoke too soon.
The good thing is, at around 5:00am I untangled myself from the dog, cat and hubby and decided to get up, pay some bills and buy some airline tickets for our impending vacation in January.
You know what really really blows (besides the lack of sleep obviously)?
I’ve been going back and forth between Expedia.com and Cheaptickets.com all week, looking at the fluctuations in airline prices and set today as my deadline to make a decision.
Yesterday I decide to pick the intinerary that has a three hour layover in Denver, CO so that I could spend some time with one of my bestest friends, Jenni. Even told her so and she went ahead and put in for the afternoon off that day. My other option was still Denver but with only an hour and ten minute layover. AND according to Cheaptickets, it was about a hundred dollars less. Seeing good friend who I haven’t seen in three years+a lower price=much joy for moi, right? HOWEVER, stupid, tightwad “me” thought I’d wait until my deadline to see if maybe, just maybe the price would change. So I key my way over to Cheaptickets.com this morning and log in to “My trip/itineraries” and see the price is the same so I click on the “Buy” option and get this big error message.
“THIS FLIGHT IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE, TO CHECK OTHER FLIGHTS, CLICK ON ‘BACK TO RESULTS’ OPTION.”
So I do and I see that my other option is the 1 hour and ten minute layover at the same price but I notice that the original itin involved multiple carriers and on Expedia.com there was a flight with one carrier the entire way with the original 3 hour layover in Denver as well, of course, at about a hundred bucks more per person. I figure getting to see Jen was worth the extra money, so I hop on over there, pull up the itin, click “purchase”, get no error messages at that point, choose our seating, buy the tickets. Then I get the message:
“YOUR ITINERARY HAS CHANGED, PLEASE NOTE CHANGES PRIOR TO YOUR FLIGHT.”
Guess which one it was? Yep, the 1 hour and 10 minute layover in Denver. So I bought the same damn flight for MORE MONEY!
So note the irony here folks: Tightwad Chris holds out for five days in hopes of a cheaper ticket with a longer Denver layover, and ends up getting the shorter itinerary for more money. Oy.
I’m going back to bed. Sleep or no sleep.
Yesterday, we were almost “parents” again.
I went home for a quickie lunch and Howard called me on the phone to tell me that Billy(our lead cashier) had summoned him up to his register and pointed to the crawl space beneath it.
Howard knelt (is that even a word?) down to find a puppy.
He and I both are suckers for a puppy.
And I know all puppies are cute but this puppy was exceptionally cute.
He was solid white with a medium coat, except for a brown patch over his left eye and an ear in the same exact color of the patch. Oh yeah and one ear flopped and the other stood straight up.
Apparantly he’d injured his front leg and was a little scared by the whole thing so somehow he snuck into the store when the front door was open and settled under Billy’s register. He wasn’t disturbing anything, just all curled up with his adorable self. But, running a business with a “mini-deli” does not allow us to have animals in the store (cause if it did, don’t you KNOW I would have Lucky with me everyday)…
So Howard tells me all this and waits for a response.
“…….”is my response
“Well, what do you want to do?” says Howard
“We can’t have it in the store, honey” I reply
“He is really cute, he was playing with me, playbiting my hands, licking my ear” Howard pled
“You held him?” I asked (knowing Howard is just waiting for me to say ‘bring him home!’)
“We have to take him back outside” I (though my heart was already aching for the injured puppy) refuted.
So Howard makes the executive decision for both of us
“Come get him, we’ll use Lucky’s pet carrier, clean him up and see if he belongs to anyone”Howard decides.
I sighed and knew that this was the same way all of our animals were acquired through the years with the exception of Lucky (even though, he too was a rescue). We swear we’re going to keep them until we can find them a good home…then inevitably they end up taking up permanent residence.
“Okay, I’ll be up in a minute.”
Oh and he was cute, too cute, and charming too. I picked him up gingerly because of his bum leg and he immediately started licking my chin and nibbling my ears like he was saying “See? I’m a sweet boy, I’ll love you forever and ever if you just take me home!” Of course, I fell in love instantly. He could hop on his three legs while favoring the bad one and Howard in a matter of about five minutes taught him how to “sit” and “dance”. Man if my camera was working! So, I’m about to leave with the puppy and take him back home for a bath and a meal when it dawns on me this puppy looks familiar and I realize it’s Mattie’s puppy! Mattie is a sweet but shy teenager who only recently acquired this adorable guy, I distinctively remember her having to come pick him up at the store on another occasion and I remember how his ears and eyes lit up when he saw her. Mainly I remember how Mattie smiled when he ran to her…and Mattie rarely smiles like that. So, in spite of myself I do the right thing and call Bernie, Mattie’s mom and she’s thrilled because apparantly the puppy had been missing since the day before.
We were a little disappointed but knew that Mattie would never forgive us if she happened upon us walking her dog! And just remembering how happy that puppy made her, well, the decision was made for us.
We did, however, tell Bernie if Mattie ever needed a better home for the dog, we were up to the task. :::damn…see?:::
I don’t know who up there in the “upper room” is laughing and getting amusement at my expense but it’ s getting old, REALLY old (at least for me).
Note to the “powers that be”: I get it, okay? I’m not going to mass as much as I should, or Sunday school, I’m not praying enough and not doing enough good deeds, I’m not doing SOMETHING…so please give me a divine sign and I’ll do better but PLEASE just let me get a full eight hours of uninterrupted and unaided (medically or otherwise) sleep. And maybe can I please join that other population of my household ie: husband and pets and get a two hour nap as well? Just once in a while?
For the past six months, for some reason I have been unable to sleep through the night or take a nap. I don’t know what it is. My body wills itself awake, be it for sleeping on my arm, feeling hot (and not in that way either) or cold, or just for the sake of waking up. On the average, I’m getting about five hours of solid rest. That’s about it.
Now, I know and so do most of my close friends and family that I’m a night owl, I’ve been an insomniac since I was a pre-teen, however, once I get to sleep, I’m usually the type to sleep through almost anything and usually can go for a good eight or nine hours.
Not now, let me tell you. Not at all…..and as “the hubby” can attest, I am not a pleasant person when sleep deprived. I need that eight hours, consecutively, whether it’s in the middle of the day or night, no matter what time I get to dreamland, I need to stay there for eight hours or there’s hell to pay. That hell being putting up with my short fuse, my snippy comments (even more so that my usual ones) and just downright grumpy demeanor due to being tired ALL the time.
And naps? Oh fuhgedaboudit. Because no matter what I do, no matter how tired I feel, no matter how cool and crisp those 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets feel or how my favorite Eddie Bauer nightshirt smells of Downy and how that goosedown pillow and fleece horse blanket feel when I’m tucked tightly into them, inevitably, people decide to call me. I mean, no matter what. It’s like they know, which is impossible unless I was one of those paranoid conspiracy theory guru’s, which by the way, at this rate turning into one is entirely possible given enough waking hours. Just yesterday, I purposely got off work early and even TOLD my office staff “I’m going home to take a nap”. Well no sooner than I had changed into my favorite nightshirt and slid between those cool sheets and settled in and closed my eyes…the phone rings…and because our friends and family only call us on Sunday (our only day off) we knew we had to answer it because it was someone from the store. Ugh. So I answer it, solve the problem, then shut my eyes again and just as I’m getting into that REM cycle…another ring…probably not 10 minutes later. By that time, I’m wide awake, still tired but decide that the nap ain’t gonna happen. And it’s a good thing because sure enough, I got two more phone calls. No one’s fault but still!
The same thing happened today. I predicted it, even voiced my concern to Howard “I want to take a nap but just as soon as I get to sleep, the phone’s going to ring.” Howard said “I’ll answer it, and tell them you’re asleep.” With much hesitation, I finally relented to my comfortable bed and my husband’s warm snuggly body and curled up with him and the pets. I don’t have to tell you the rest. (I mean, I applaud his efforts but what’s waking me up is the damn PHONE ringing. And I’m not heartless enough to turn off the ringer.)
and what am I going to say? “Sorry mom, naptime!”
Oy, now I’m off to do some month-end stuff and fax in payroll (which I only do on Sunday because I absolutely adore the beautiful and “enigmatic” Tess who works so hard to rustle up those paychecks every two weeks)…
So pray for me, say a mantra, do your thing, send good karma, cause I need it and I’ll keep you posted on the situation.
Either that or you’ll read about me in the papers.
…and here are a few “honorable mentions”, shows I have been a longtime fan of, and luckily all of them are in syndication so I can catch the reruns when the season is on hiatus.
South Park (well what did you expect with my sense of humor, right?)
Crank Yankers (ditto..and Wanda Sykes, you so rock!)
The King of Queens ( they’ve managed to find a show that reflects our daily married life so much it’s scary)
Iron Chef (Morimoto, you can roll my sushi ANYTIME!)
That 70’s Show (what “DUMBASS” who grew up in the 70’s wouldn’t love this show?)