Sep 30

All that whining about Six Feet Under and getting all morose about having nothing to watch was…well…just a flat out lie…but I didn’t mean for it to be.

I have other shows of which I’ve been a looong devotee. The shows I can always count on and there I was just going off about having “nothing to watch”.

For instance: Trading Spaces…what can I say? I’ve loved this show since it’s inception some 5 or 6 years ago…I even like it better than it’s predecessor, “Changing Rooms”. (Sorry BBC!)
Howard’s cousin Jason, who is also, my “partner in crime” and good friend knew I loved it so much that while at a trade show in Charlotte last year actually got to meet my absolute favorite designer in the world Vern Yip (which incidently is his favorite designer as well, second only to Frank, right Jason? hee hee hee) (No offense Frank, you sweetheart you, just not into chickens and cross stitch) AND he surprised me by actually getting me an autograph in the book “Behind the Scenes of Trading Spaces”. He managed to keep it all under wraps until we went back to NC last January and presented it to me at our “Welcome home” party. It stated and I quote:
“Christina! Howard!
You and Alaska Rock!
All the Best!
Vern Yip”
Jason is awesome (I can’t wait to see you guys in January!)
So that’s how much I love it and that’s how ungrateful I am, I am so sorry to Trading Spaces for my unexcusable oversight on your part. You are always there for me to curl up with on a Saturday night, AND if I get the rarity of an afternoon at home, I know I can always count on you.
I walk with my head hung in shame.

Sep 29

It’s a friggin’ Blizzard outside.

Yikes, snow in September! 7 inches! I know it’s Alaska but c’mon! Even for us, that’s early.

We’ve actually had snow since Sunday afternoon.

In other news, I finished “Little Earthquakes” (yes Tess, it’s worth every penny so go buy it now!) and am at the halfway point of “My Life”. (Damn bubba, your book is loooong!)

Also, on a totally different topic, my beloved “memaw” called me last night and told me she was eating an Ice Cream sandwich and thought of me.

Um okay….am I supposed to be flattered or offended? I didn’t dare ask. Especially since she was actually up and eating it at 1:00am her time.

Well, I get my quirks honest I guess.

What was weird was I was eating a tasty Sugar Free Popsicle when she called. Coincidence? A little ESP goin’ on? Does “The gram” know more than she’s letting on? Wouldn’t surprise me, sly fox that she is.

Sep 25

Today, Howard covered me so I could take a lunchbreak and upon my return, out comes John, the beautiful little 5 year old who has clearly stolen my heart.

He stood at the top of the stairs on the front vestibule looking a little irritated.

“Where have you BEEN all this time?” he asked

“I was on my lunchbreak” I replied

“I was waiting for you!” he said

“Well I’m sorry John but I’m back now, what do you need sweetheart?” I asked

“Do you have a quarter?” he asked sweetly

Hmmph and here I was thinking he actually just wanted to visit with me.

As if that wasn’t enough, he follows me into the store.

“Did you dye your hair?” he asked

“Yes John, well actually Howard dyed it” I replied

“Oh..(thoughtful pause)…..YOU’RE wearing contacts!” he said

(Huh? Since when does a 5 year old know what contact lenses are?)

“No I’m not, I’m wearing glasses, why would I wear contacts if I have glasses?” I asked

“Your eyes are REALLY blue, they’re not real!” he argued

“I promise you sweetie, they are real” I said

With a thoughtful nod, he smiled at me and I reached over and straightened his hair. This kid is killing me, he’ll be lucky if he’s not kidnapped by Christmas. No matter what kind of day I’m having, he can walk in and yell my name and my heart just melts. Makes me miss my nieces and nephews so much!

Sep 24

I think I’ve set my own personal record for amount of books being read at one time. I read a chapter of one here, a chapter of one there, depending what sort of mood I’m in.
But I’m really in a funk.
First of all, all the books are really great so far. Seriously.
It’s just that either I’m really busy at work and too exhausted to get excited about reading or I see a new book sitting on the never ending stack of brand new unopened books that we keep ordering and will eventually be overcome with if we don’t do something soon, and think “oh, I meant to start that”…and then I do and remember I wanted to finish that other book I started yesterday, or the day before, etc.
Bookaholic ADD, I suppose.
Okay here’s my list, in case you’re dying to know:

My Life by Bill Clinton
Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner
Brick Lane by Monica Ali
The Only Girl in the Car by Kathie Dobie
The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown

That’s five books… goal is to have them all read by Christmas…or New Years…here’s hoping.

Sep 23

So I’m still schlepping my Cranberry Juice around and choking it down in a most dramatic fashion. ( Think drinking straight shots of pure rubbing alcohol okay?)

Limping, trying to win sympathy from my hubby.

The so-called prince I’ve been babying for two days because he has a cold. A COLD!
Yes I’m going on my third night of chicken soup and with a side of Cranberry Juice while the hubby reminds me…”but this isn’t my fault, honey”
“Yeah whatever”..I say as I roll my eyes and think “What a bitch you are!” to myself.
“Nevermind that this man waits on you hand and foot when you’re sick, you heartless, spineless little wench, plus the fact that he puts up with you on a daily basis for better, for worse, no matter how ugly, fat, bloated, beautiful, sexy, insecure, mentally unstable you feel….you’re just evil, I tell you, evil!!!”

Me and my self-inflicted affliction and I’m wanting sympathy….perhaps in my Cranberry juice logged brain, I meant “SYMPHONY”….for the violins that should be playing as I’m the guest of honor at my own pity party.

Sep 21

Remember a couple of blogs ago when I said my kidneys would be screaming because of the Diet Mountain Dew I slugged down?

It’s happening folks, they’re screaming…a marching band is going on inside them…complete with baton twirlers, they’re having a real party.

Meanwhile I’ve got a jug of cranberry juice under one arm and a fist full of Tylenol in my hand. I can’t even bend over.

“You knew better”…says the hubby (hey what happened to that hair finger running through, towel drying prince I snuggled up to last night?)

“yeah yeah, I know I KNOW!” I replied wincing in pain.

Again, here I go doing things I know are bad for me and I still whine.

Meanwhile Howard really is sick, battling a nasty cold, so not only am I lugging the cranberry juice around like an extra appendage, I’m lugging Theraflu, Chicken soup and OJ to the hubby.

Please refer to “pathetic” comment also a few blogs ago.

Sep 21

Well, now we only have one show left until Carnivale’…now that The Amazing Race is finished.

I take solace in that fact that the people we were rooting for the entire time actually won!

Congratulations Chip and Kim!!!

Sep 21

Can I just say? I LOOOOOVE being a redhead again. Oh happy day, Howard dyed my roots and my hair soaked up the color beautifully and I emerged from my shower with beautiful red locks once again.

It changed my whole mood, I wasn’t feeling ugly anymore and Howard kept looking at it saying “God baby, it really looks good this go ’round…I mean it always looks good but it looks really even and natural”

But of course!

I know this sounds narcissistic but this color really does look natural and I can get away with it because
A. I’m Irish
B. It’s the same exact color of my hair when I was between the ages of 2 and 10. (Don’t ask me why it turned the dark brown, a cruel laugh from God, I guess)

And as we drifted off to sleep last night, I leaned over to kiss the hubby goodnight he stopped, ran his fingers through my hair and said “I love this color on you, it brings out your blue eyes and it’s sooooooo soft.”

Some girls only dream of that! Eat your heart out!

(Reality check: it’s been 5 months since I last dyed my hair, it was looking pretty haggard with roots and a tinge of orange….this is the real reason why husband and I are so enamored of the’s kind of like a Diabetic’s first Snickers bar after a year. Get it?….but I’ll ask that you indulge me and let me delude myself at least for a day, okay?)

Sep 19

There’s a new term in the bush called a “jug bath”, pegged courtesy of myself and Howard.

Let me set the scene of origin:

I’m standing in the shower making the most of my two minutes(that’s all we can have because we need to conserve water for other things, trust me we have it down to a science…or so I think) unwinding after a hectic weekend and I’d just slathered my mane with conditioner and soaped up when the water pressure takes a nosedive and ends at a trickle then a slow “drip-drip-drip”, heart sinking I yell “Oh sh*t!” hoping it’s not what I think it is.

Howard comes running to see what all the ruckus is about and I tell him to check the tanks. Sure enough, it’s what I think it is. We’ve run out of water again. This is the second time it’s happened to me in the shower. Funny…it never happens to Howard.

Howard, knowing the drill from the previous time, returns to the bathroom with two one-gallon jugs of distilled water(water that costs 5 bucks a gallon, remember, everything is flown in here so the heavier the product, the higher the retail). I brace myself as he pours the icy (notice it never feels cold when you want it to) water over my hair and down my body. I start to shiver and he starts to laugh…and laugh…and laugh. So glad he’s amused! He redeemed himself by wrapping me in one of the luxurious overpriced bathsheets I bought online a few weeks ago and toweled my dripping hair. I even got a smooch out of him. What a guy!

And what an idiot I am for not checking the tanks the last night before water is delivered again. “Down to a science”. Who am I kidding?

Shoulda checked the tanks first. Well at least I’m clean…and I’d damn well better be at five bucks a gallon.

Sep 19

Still no word from “The Mother”, she’s probably busy disowning me.

I just drowned my sorrows in Diet Mountain Dew (kidneys will be screaming at me later) and a whole (yes I said whole) bag of Snickers Popables.

Oy Vey, I am going to have to jog twice as far next week. Did I mention I went 7 (count ‘em 7) days without so much as brisk walk this week? I can feel my booty expanding as I type. Can feel those calories nestling themselves between my muscle mass…getting acquainted with some fatty tissue.

“Hi there, my name is Snickers and this is my pal DMD…yeah I know, the owner actually thinks thinks Diet drinks are better for you, boy is she a SUCKER!….speaking of, she really woofed us down today…well where I should I put my belongings? Oh right there between the hip bones? Wow, spacious…and with any luck, we can talk her into not exercising this week!”

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